Page:Monthly scrap book, for October.pdf/23

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SCRAP BOOK.
23

grateful smiles which more than repay a liberal minded man for his benevolence. On looking round to see how their younger brother fared, they were astonished to observe a smile on every countenance When fairly outside the noble mansion, they inquired at him how he managed to please so well, seeing that they had both given—thcir last sixpence without producing a single sign of approbation? "Oh, ho!" says he, "I had no money, but I just kittled their loof, and they were quite delighted,

A Candid Thief—George Hewton, a miserable-looking old man, who, according to his own story, had served his Majesty by "flood and field," was indicted for stealing twenty yards of linen from Henry Coleman of Francis Street. The prisoner pleaded guilty. The Recorder asked the prisoner if he was aware of the manner in which he had pleaded to the indictment. The prisoner said he was. Recorder—You had better withdraw that plea, and plead not guilty. Prisoner—Just as your Lordship pleases; whatever your Lordship wishes: it is all the same to me now: I have neither friend nor fallow; I am "run a-ground." (Laughter,) Recorder—The Court will allow you to plead not guilty. Prisoner—Very well, your Lordship; I wish I warn't. (Laughter.) The prosecutor was examined, and he stated that the prisoner entered his shop in Francis Street, took a piece of linen, and marched off with it. Prisoner (interrupting the witness)--And before I could sheer off with it you stopt me grappled with me, and hauled off the canvass. (Laughter.) Recorder—Has the prisoner any thing to ask the witness? Prisoner—Oh the d—l a word; he has told the truth, every word of it; he is an honest young man, and God keep him so. (Laughter.) Recorder (addressing the Jury)—Gentlemen, the prisoner is indicted for stealing twenty yards of linen from Henry Coleman; you have heard the witness who has been produced; his evidence has established the case against the prisoner. Prisoner—You are perfectly right, my Lord; but I hope your Lordship will give me the benefit of the statute, and transport me out of the country, for I have no means of living in it. The jury returned a verdict of guilty. The prisoner was sentenced to seven months imprisonment and hard labour.

A Seat in Church.—A very genteel-looking young man was seen to enter a Church in time of service; he paused at the entrance; the congregation stared; he advanced a few steps, and deliberately surveying the whole assembly, commenced a slow march up the broad aisle; not a pew was opened; the audience were too busy for civility; he wheeled, and in the same manner performed a march, stepping as it to Roslin Castle, or the dead march in Saul, and disappeared. A few moments after he re-entered with a huge block upon his shoulders, as heavy as he could well stagger under; his countenance was immoveable; again the good people stared, half-rose from their seats, with their books in their hands.—At length he placed the block in the very centre of the principal passage, and seated himself upon it. Then, for the first time, the reproach was felt. Every pew door in the Church was instantly flung open. But—no; the stranger was a gentleman; he came