Page:Mr. Punch's Book of Sports.djvu/66

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Mr. Punch's Book of Sports
 

A FEW QUESTIONS ON CRICKET

Q. What is "fielding"?
A. The author of Tom Jones.
Q. How do you stop a ball?
A. By putting out the lights.
Q. When does a party change sides?
A. When he's in bed, and got the fidgets.
Q. What do you call "a long slip"?
A. A hundred songs for a halfpenny.
Q. How much is game?
A. It depends whether it's in season.




Fancy our dear old lady's horror when she heard that last week, at Lord's, a cricketer had bowled a maiden over. "Poor thing!" exclaimed Mrs. R., "I hope she was picked up again quickly, and wasn't much hurt."




PHILOSOPHY AT THE POPPING CREASE

"The glorious uncertainty?" why, to be sure,
That it must be the slowest should see at a glance,
For cricket, as long as the sport shall endure,
Must be in its nature a mere game of chance,
" 'Tis all pitch and toss"; one can show it is so;—
'T isn't science or strength rules its losses or winnings.
Half depends on the "pitch"—of the wickets, you know,
The rest on the "toss"—for first innings.

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