Page:Mrs Caudle's curtain lectures.djvu/110

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74
MRS. CAUDLE'S CURTAIN LECTURES.

"Ha! that's just as you take me up. Well, how much money will it take? Let me see; and don't go to sleep. I'll tell you in a minute. You always love to see the dear things like new pins, I know that, Caudle; and though I say it—bless their little hearts!--they do credit to you, Caudle. Any nobleman of the land might be proud of 'em. Now don't swear at noblemen of the land, and ask me what they've to do with your children; you know what I meant. But you ARE so hasty, Caudle.

"How much?

"Now, don't be in a hurry! Well, I think, with good pinching—and you know, Caudle, there's never a wife who can pinch closer than I can—I think, with pinching, I can do with twenty pounds. What did you say?

"Twenty fiddlesticks?

"What?

"You won't give half the money?

"Very well, Mr. Caudle; I don't care: let the children go in rags; let them stop from church, and grow up like heathens and cannibals, and then you'll save your money, and, I suppose, be satisfied.

"You gave me twenty pounds five months ago?

"What's five months ago to do with now? Besides, what I HAVE had is nothing to do with it.

"What do you say?

"Ten pounds are enough?

"Yes, just like you men; you think things cost nothing for women; but you don't care how much you lay out upon yourselves.

"They only want bonnets and frocks?

"How do you know what they want? How should a man know anything at all about it? And you won't