"But, more than him, I love that pain which I feel. …"
She rose in bed, as if to repel something that was weighing her down; then she sat propped up by her cushions and pillows.
"Do you imagine that in all this I had any idea of revengeful pleasure at Mme. Wildenhoff's disappointment, and for that reason made him tell me what he did? Not in the least. I wanted to drink my fill of pain; as in Spain they wave a red flag in bull-fights before the bloodshot eyes of the poor brute, to make him yet madder with rage and despair, so I wished to excite myself to the same delirious state.
"I do not wish for anything that can diminish the intensity of my anguish, I hate whatever could mitigate or deaden it. I love to gloat over the raw bleeding wounds, bare and unbandaged. …"
At that moment, the nurse tapped at the door, to ask whether Orcio might not come in to bid his mother good morning.
"No—no! shut the door! I will have no one here! Janka, you have not the least idea how I hate my son."
