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Virtues and Vices of the Age, &c.
I Never think of a wife till I am hungry; and then I look out for a whore, in hopes ſhe will bring me to a morſel of bread. I love ſtrong beer but twice in the year; and that is in Winter and Summer. I hate Lawyers and Liars, becauſe they breed wrangling and jangling. I would be a Sol-dier, was there all plundering and no fighting. I love a Clergyman that practices what he preaches; but we muſt mind what he ſays, not what he does. If ever I marry, I’ll have the uglieſt woman I can find, and then I ſhall be ſure to have her to myſelf. Shew me a Poet, a Lawyer and a Quak-er, and I’ll ſhew you three Liars. Of all the men in the world, blind men walk the moſt upright, and they are the moſt charitable; for they never ſee any one’s faults. Of all people, I pity Whores; for they hazard foul and body for a miſerable livelihood. Was I a man in power, I would build Alms-houſes for the rich, and main-tain them at their own coſt.The
