Page:Odds and ends, or, A groat's-worth of fun for a penny (2).pdf/18

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never have had the rudeness to come into the world before your royal highness."

Foote and Carrick were at a tavern together, at the time when the gold coin was regulated. Foote taking out his purse to pay his reckoning; asked Carrick what he should do with a light guinea. 'Pshaw! it is worth nothing,' said Carrick; so fling it to the devil.' 'Well, David,' said Foote, 'you are an ingenious fellow, as I always thought you; ever contriving to make a guinea go farther than any other man.'

One day Bannister was obliged to take shelter from the rain in a comb-maker's shop, in Holborn, where an old man was at work. 'I am sorry,' said he, 'that a person of your time of life should stiffer so much pain.' 'Pain! I have no pain, thank God!' said the man. 'surely you must,' said the wit, 'are you not cutting your teeth?'

Coming into a coffee-house one stormy night, Bannister said, 'I never saw such a wind in my life.' 'Saw a wind,' said a friend; 'pray what was it like? 'Like,' answered Bannister, like to have blown my hat off.'

EPIGRAM.

"Is my wife out of spirits," said Sir John, with a sigh;
(For he fear'd that a tempest was forming)
'Quite out, sir, indeed,' said her maid in reply,
'She finished the brandy this morning.'


One day going to Holland House, by the Hammersmith stage, Rogers was mortified to find that by the delay of the coachman he had missed meeting with the noble proprietor. 'Why, bless my heart,' said he, looking at his watch, 'you