DOCUMENTARY 405
which I despaired of ever being able to represent with that clearness, and force, which their importance demanded, except in person. In the meantime Messrs. Ewing & Edwards re- solved to try this route, though there was no certainty of a party, going from Fort Hall to the American Rendezvous, and no certainty where it would be. The society of these gents, I saw at once, would obviate a good deal of the anticipated lone- liness and make the journey much more pleasant and agreeable, and hence a much greater prospect of benefiting my health, was opened up. These things, together with the firm conviction of many of the brethren, that it was my duty to go; and many other weighty considerations; if they did not remove all my objections, finally counterbalanced them, and I became satisfied that my Master called, and that duty required me to leave home and wife and friends and retrace my steps to the land of civilization.
I had but two or three days to make preparations and of course everything was done with the utmost dispatch. I had witnessed some trying scenes before, had passed through some that were considered by myself and others to be most trying; but still there remained one to be experienced of which few are calculated to be adequate judges; for few, very few indeed, have ever been called to part with friends under such unusual and almost inconceivably delicate circumstances. For me to attempt to portray it upon paper, would be vain, but suffice it to say : that the impression is indelibly fixed upon my mind and will doubtless remain vivid while fond memory retains her seat.
July 30. On a small creek 35 from Ft. Wm. We do not move camp today, and I purpose to employ a part of the day in noting a few reminiscences of self and days gone by (if rheu- matism in my right elbow does not prevent) the perusal of which may be gratifying at some future day if life should be spared.
Like most others in my early youth I looked forward with glowing interest to that hour when ripening manhood should
