Page:Ossendowski - From President to Prison.djvu/202

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190
FROM PRESIDENT TO PRISON

and informed me that I was to be moved to Cell No. 11. This gripped me as a bad sign, for I knew well the custom of the prison to transfer intended victims to another cell in preparation for the execution. There were no formalities, as I needed only to take my hat and coat and follow the Commander down the corridor to my new abode.

Neither I nor anyone else shall ever phrase my feeling, as the door was opened and I was received with shouts of joy by Nowakowski, Lepeshinsky and three others of my associates on the Central Committee.

"Hurrah!" shouted Lepeshinsky, as gay as ever. "Witte[1] has ordered the decision of the 'express tribunal' to be annulled and our case to be brought before the regular military court. There they will not condemn us to death!" Good news, indeed, was this, after five days of continuous expectation of execution!

I often thought afterwards how entirely relative is the idea of happiness. We struggle during our whole lives, straining our minds and physical strength to gain material welfare and a stable place in society. We are always grumbling and always longing for better conditions. Suddenly a catastrophe overthrows us violently, leaving life hanging by a thread. Then the slightest improvement in the extreme conditions is regarded as a supreme happiness. It was so with me on January 22nd, 1906, and then I understood the meaning of life and the want of reality in some of our ideology.

  1. Count S. J. Witte had now become Prime Minister at St. Petersburg.