LAND, ORBOON
There was a young man from Ostend
Who said HE should last till the end,
But when half way over,
'Twixt Calais and Dover. He done what he did not intend.
The tracks that great men leave behind
Upon the sands of time Oft show they wobbled round a lot
Before they got sublime.
— Woman's Home Companion.
- * *
Smith dug up mussels from the stream: "Some day, perhaps," said he, "I'll find a pearl inside of one That shall bring wealth to me."
Jones worked away year after year
And added to his store, And people envied him who saw
The happy smile he wore.
One day Smith, who was old and poor. Cried out: "Behold! behold!"
The pearl that he had found was worth Ten times its weight in gold.
Jones looked, and envied Smith his luck, ' And Smith, with head awhirl.
Forgot that Jones' store was worth A thousand times the pearl.
— Chicago Record-Herald.
♦ * *
Y* Oia« Hors*
An olde horse who for twenty yeares hadde notte so much as pawed ye earthe or even snorted in a loud tone, one day hap- pened along where some colts were kycking uppe their heels & having some funne.
"Ho, ho!" nickered ye olde horse, prancing uppe & looking devilish. "Verric goode, boys, verrie goode! But watch me & see how we used to do itte fortie yeares ago."
Thenne ye olde horse snorted fiercely, arched hys tail & rose uponne hys wabbly hind legges, pawing ye air & squealing raucously.
& all ye colts putte their heddes behind one another's shoulders & smiled. "Gad- zooks!" they snickered, "Watch ye Olde Mjanne gette gaye!"
Just thenne ye olde horse stubbed hys toe uponne a corn cobbe & turned a flippe- floppe uponne ye grounde alle tangled up, with hys fore leggs in a bow knot & one hinde legge over hys eare.
"Alas!" he wheezed, after he had unrav- elled himself & was limping away, "itte took me forty yeares to learn that a youthful spirit can ontte loosen uppe olde joints!"
& all ye colts kicked one another inne ye ribs & laughed gleefully.
& this is ye lesson:
(i) Never geete gaye inne yours olde age.
(2) Whenne Time scores onne you, throw uppe your hands & confess it.
(3) Never butte inne whenne you are out of ye gayme. — Leslie's Weekly.
HATTERS AND FURNISHERS
"^Wf
Buffum & Pendleton
Sole Ag^ents for
KNOX HATS
64 Third St. PORTLAND, OREGON
EDWARD HOLMAN
Undertaker, Embalmer and Funeral Director
CxpERicnccD Lady Assistant '
a8o Yamhill St. PORTLAND, OREGON
RESULTS
Are never in doubt when you attend
BEHNKE-WALKER
242 Wathlngton Street PORTUND, OREGON
Business Course Scholarship $60.00
Bookkeeping (Laboratory Method), Commer- cial Law, Commercial Geography, Penman- ship, Commercial Arithmetic, Letter-Writiiij[, Rapid Calculation, Orthography, Actual Busi- ness Practice, Banking (Boston System). Shorthand Course Scholarship $^0.00
Shorthand (Pcmin System), Typewriting, Mimeographing, Tabulating, Letter-Writing. English Spelling, Penmanship, Office work and Court Reporting. Telegraphy Course Scholarship $50.00
Telegraphy. Typewriting, Penmanship, Spell- ing, Letter-Writing.
Our teachers are all practical men and speci- alists in their particular lines. Our graduates are all employed and give universal satisfac- tion. Individual mstruction. Send for literature.
I. M. WALKER. Secy. H. W. BEHNKE, Free.
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^ "STARS AND STRIPES" I
We make them to order. Any size. Any quantity. A large assortment of FLAGS constantly In stock.
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32-34 First SL 210-216 Couch St. PortlaM, Ore. 4
Bags, Twines, Tents, Awnings and Mining Hose BAG PRINTING A SPECIALTY
Write us for prices. Mention The Pacific Monthly.
W. C. NOON BAG CO.
Incorporated 1893
