Page:Paine--J Archibauld McKaney collector of whiskers.djvu/174

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J. Archibald McKackney



solid log and laugh in his bushy beard till the tears ran down into it and hung there like diamonds. Years and years and ages and ages I toiled in this disgustin' manner, and there was no balm or whisker restorer in Gilead for the wreck of what had once been the high-steppin' and proud-spirited Lemuel Wilkins.

"At last I escaped from them torments. It was in a Dutch gunboat that discovered the island and sent a boat in shore to chart the reefs. Disguised as a tubful of washing, I made my way to the beach by night and swum off to the Dutchmen. If there had been one red-whiskered man aboard the vessel I'd ha' made a desperate attempt to lead a rebellion with him and upset the ruling dynasty. But there was no such luck, and they landed me in Batavia without a penny, yes, even poorer by the length of my whiskers than when I had been washed ashore on Lemuel Wilkins Island. On my way home I picked up a monkey that had been owned by a deef and dumb man in Borneo. He had taught the

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