THE RAXDALL FAMILY 1 8/
failed, on account of his illness at college and his leaving for the war. Last year I was to have gone with him to Niagara, and this year, as I hoped, to Canada, or vice versa. Mere trifle as it now is, I feel regret that, ere he died, he could not have stood with me in the tower between the two falls, and have witnessed in this world the most beautiful scene in Nature.
Think not I shall succumb to despair. I acquiesce as much as you in the great Law. I admit I would alter it, if permitted ; but, if permitted, it would then be right. I acquiesce in necessity, and, after I have exercised my im- agination about him in every possible way, I shall at last find my old self again, though never more shall I find Jiim. I shall be as a man with one arm. The woman who lost her piece of silver had thirty-eight pieces left, but we have lost our pet lamb. It is true that, when the hard sense of this loss comes to me unadorned, there are times when my words, though mute, seem striving to strangle me, and my heart with its accumulated heaviness would seem kind if it could break ; but this is not constant, and I am daily gain- ing self-control. A stranger would perceive little differ- ence in me, and I am loth in this wandering state of mind to write you a second time. I do it at your request, and now I shall not write again, but wait till I see you, when I have some things to say less proper to be written,
I am sorry you are alone in Detroit, but trust it will not be long. Society, though at first undesired, is a great softener of grief. Meantime I hope you will not reject the well-meant sympathy of strangers, for it is far better than no sympathy at all. You will here perceive the Ego everywhere, but I doubt not you will discover the Til, also. I give you purposely an unfashioned fragment of myself, because I know it will soothe you more than if you had me
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