4
A LEGHORN HAT
- Vézinet. — And the bride?
- Fadinard. — Yes, yes. She's coming — in eight cabs... (Going on.) I left Charentonneau at eight, this morning —
- Vézinet. — I've just brought my wedding present —
- Fadinard. — Very kind of you — (Going on.) I was in my cab... I was passing through the Bois... all at once I found I had dropped my whip...
- Vézinet. — Nephew, these sentiments do you honor...
- Fadinard. — What sentiments? Rats! I keep forgetting he is deaf! Well, no matter! (Going on.) As the butt is of silver, I stopped my horse, and got out... about a hundred yards back I saw it in a clump of nettles... I pricked my fingers.
- Vézinet. — I'm glad to hear it!
- Fadinard. — Thanks; I turned around... no cab in sight! Gone!
- Félix (Coming down stage). — You lost your cab?
- Fadinard (to Félix). — Félix, I'm talking to my uncle, who is deaf. Don't interfere with my family affairs!
- Vézinet. — I would say, in addition to that; that good husbands make good wives...
- Fadinard. — I daresay — suffering cats!... My cab was gone... I inquired... I investigated... I found out one had been stopped at the edge of the wood. I ran thither, and what did I find — my horse munching upon a sort of bundle, trimmed with red poppies! I walked up . . . then a woman's voice from a bypath, shrieked out: "Heavens! my hat!" The bale of straw was a hat She'd hung it to a tree, while she gossiped with a soldier!
- Félix (Aside). — Well, I'll — that's funny!
- Fadinard (to Vézinet). — Between you and me, I think she's a highflier...
- Vézinet. — No! I'm from Chaillot... I live in Chaillot.
- Fadinard. — Oh, fiddlesticks!
- Vézinet. — Right near the water works...
- Fadinard. — Ah, that's handy! Just as I was going to apologize to the lady, and was about to offer to settle, a soldier interposed... a sort of African romper. He began by talking down to me. By crimes! I got hot under the collar, and called him Beni-zug-zug. He jumped at me — I jumped off, landed in my cab, whipped up my horse and — here I am. I had just time to throw him twenty francs — or twenty sous — for I'm
