Page:Psychopathia Sexualis (tr. Chaddock, 1892).djvu/257

From Wikisource
Jump to navigation Jump to search
This page has been proofread, but needs to be validated.
CONGENITAL HOMO-SEXUALITY.
239


boy, from which I awoke with an erection. In conclusion, I venture to undertake the difficult task of describing my present condition: Medium height, gracefully formed. Skull dolichocephalic, with prominence in the occipital region; circumference, 59 centimetres; frontal prominence marked; glance somewhat neuropathic; pupils medium; teeth very defective; musculature strong and tense; abundant hair, blonde. Varicocele on the left side; frenulum too short, which hindered me in coitus. I severed it myself three years ago. Since then ejaculation is retarded, and pleasurable feeling much diminished. Temperament choleric. Quick of comprehension; good at drawing conclusions; energetic; for one hereditarily predisposed, very persevering. I learn languages easily, and have a good ear for music, but otherwise I have no talent for the arts. I am always ambitious to do my duty, but I am constantly troubled with tædium vitæ, and only kept from attempts at suicide by my religion and the thought of my mother. Otherwise I am a typical candidate for suicide. I am ambitious, jealous, have a fear of paralysis; left-handed. I am filled with socialistic ideas. I like adventures, and I am courageous. I have decided never to marry.”

Case 109. Psychical Hermaphroditism. Autobiography.—“I was born in 1868. The families of both my parents are healthy; at any rate, mental disease has never occurred in them. My father was a merchant; he is now sixty-five years old, and for years has been nervous and especially inclined to be melancholic. Before his marriage, my father is said to have lived fast. My mother is healthy, though not very strong. There are two other healthy children.

“I was very early developed sexually, and in my fourteenth year was so much troubled by pollutions that I was frightened. Under what circumstances they occurred, particularly the nature of the dreams that were connected with them, I am no longer able to state. The fact is, that for years I have only felt myself drawn toward men sexually; and, with every effort and a terrible struggle, I am still unable to overcome this unnatural impulse that is so repugnant to me. It is said that I had many severe illnesses in my childhood, and that my life was often despaired of. To this was probably due the fact that I was spoiled and made very delicate. I was always much in the house, preferred to play with dolls rather than with soldiers, and I liked to play quietly in the house better than to play noisily in the streets. I entered the Gymnasium at the age of ten. Though I was lazy, I was among the best scholars; for I learned very easily, and was the favorite of my teacher. From my earliest childhood (seventh year), I took pleasure in little girls. I remember that, even until my thirteenth year, I had formal love-affairs with them, and was jealous of those who associated with them; that I took pleasure in looking under the petticoats of my sister’s friends and the servants; and that I had erections when touching the persons of my female playmates. I can, however, recall with certainty that boys