ing soldiers, who frequent such places, and who at the same time lend a certain charm to the women. If I but find a woman whose face attracts me, I can have intense lustful pleasure. Besides by prostitutes, my desire can be excited by peasant-girls, servant-girls, working-women, and girls of the lower classes,—in general, by those in common dress. Red cheeks, thick lips, and erect forms please me particularly. I am absolutely indifferent to respectable women and young ladies.
“My pollutions are usually without lustful pleasure, and often occur with dreams of men, but very seldom—almost never—with dreams of women. As is shown by the last circumstance, in spite of regular coitus, my desire is still for young men. Indeed, I may say that it has only increased, and that very markedly. Though immediately after coitus the girls have no charm for me, yet the kiss of a pleasing woman could immediately induce erection again. For the first few days after coitus, young men seem the most attractive to me.
“Sexual congress with women does not satisfy all my sensual desire. I have days when I frequently have erections with an intense desire for young men; then come quieter days, with moments of complete indifference for women and latent desire for men. On the other hand, too great sensual rest makes me melancholy; viz., when such rest follows moments of repressed excitement. Only, then, when the thought of beloved youths again causes erection, do I feel light-hearted again. Then the rest changes to intense nervousness; I feel depressed, and sometimes have headache (after repressed erection). This nervousness often increases to ungovernable restlessness, which I then seek to overcome by coitus.
“Last year an essential change took place in my sexual life, when I dared to enjoy male love for the first time. In spite of pleasurable coitus with women (more correctly, pleasurable kissing with resultant ejaculation), my desire for young men gave me no peace. I determined to go to a brothel much frequented by soldiers, and, in extremity, to buy a soldier for myself. I had the good luck to meet immediately one like myself, who, notwithstanding his much lower station, in character and behavior was not unworthy of me. What I experienced (and still experience) with this young man is something different from what I feel with women. The sensual pleasure is not greater than with prostitutes, whose kisses and embraces excite me extraordinarily; but I can experience lustful pleasure with him at any time, and for him I have a feeling that is wanting for women. Unfortunately, I have been able to embrace and kiss him only about eight times.
“Though we have been separated many months, he having been sent to a garrison in Hungary, we have not forgotten each other, and keep up a regular correspondence. In order to possess him, I dared to go to a brothel and there embrace him, being in danger of being betrayed.
