they return my passionate caresses. In tête-à-tête with such a person, I throw all check from my excited senses, and give my animal passions free rein, osculor, premo, amplector eum, linguam meam in os ejus immitto; ore cupiditate tremente ejus labrum superius sugo, faciem meam ad ejus nates adpono et odore voluptari e natibus emanente voluptate obstupescor. Real men, in close-fitting uniform, make the deepest impression on me; and if I have an opportunity to embrace and kiss such a ravishing fellow, ejaculation takes place at once,—a weakness which I attribute to my frequent masturbation. In my earlier years I practiced it very frequently, almost every time I saw a man pleasing to me, whose image I kept before my eye during the act. For this my taste is in nowise difficult to please—like that a servant-girl might have in finding her ideal in a dragoon guard. A handsome face is a pleasant supplement, inflaming my sensual desire, but in no respect an essential. The requisite remains: vir inferiore corporis parte robusta et bene formosa, turgidis femoribus durisque natibus, while the upper portion of the body may be slim. Corpulence disgusts me. A sensual mouth with pretty teeth affects me more intensely; and if the person has also a membrum pulchrum magnum et æqualiter formatum, all my demands—the most far-reaching—are fulfilled.
“When I was younger, with men that pleased me and excited my passions intensely, ejaculation took place from five to eight times in a night, and now it occurs from four to six times; for I am unusually strong sensually, and, as an example, even the clinking of a hussar’s sword may excite me. At the same time, I have a very lively fancy, and spend most of my leisure hours thinking of handsome men with strong limbs; and I would be delighted to look on when a powerful fellow, using force, magna mentula præditus me præsente puellam futuat; mihi persuasum est, fore ut hoc aspectu sensus mei vehementissima perturbatione, afficiantur et dum futuit corpus adolescentis pulchri tangam et, si liceat, ascendam in eum dum cum puella concumbit atque idem cum eo faciam et membrum meum in ejus anum immittam. The accomplishment of these cynical ideas—with which my mind is often filled—is hindered only by my limited means; otherwise, I should long ago have had the reality.
“Soldiers have the greatest charm for me, but I have also a weakness for butchers, fakirs, drivers, circus-riders, and boat-captains; and all these must be supple and powerfully built. Urnings I hate in intimate relation, and for the majority of them I have an inexplicable and unjust aversion. I have never had but one urning for an intimate friend. On the other hand, the most affectionate and enduring ties bind me to men of my own age, in whose company I delight, but with whom I have no sexual relations, and who have no idea of my condition.
“Talk on politics and economics, like every other earnest subject, I hate; though I gossip with considerable sense and peculiar pleasure about the theatre. At operas I see myself on the stage, feel myself applauded