mate offered himself. He had developed into a remarkably handsome man. I had to spend one night with him in an over-crowded hotel. Though as students we had never associated sexually, he was not averse to my desire, and attempted pederasty. In this instance pain prevented success; but, in the attempt, ejaculatio ante anum meum occurred. Even now I can recall the pleasurable feeling I had in it—a feeling previously unknown. After the war I frequently met this friend, but our intercourse was later limited to onanism. During the following eighteen years I had but two opportunities for homo-sexual intercourse. The first was in the winter of 1879, on the occasion of meeting a handsome hussar in a railway carriage. I induced him to sleep with me at an hotel. Later he confessed to me that he had previously practiced mutual masturbation with the son of a landed proprietor of his town. I could not bring him to pederasty. On the other hand, I induced ejaculation in him by receptio penis ejus in os meum. This caused me no satisfaction, but rather disgust. I have never tried it again; and, too, I have never allowed receptio penis mei in os alterius. In 1887, likewise on the railway, I made the acquaintance of a sailor, and induced him to stay with me at an hotel. He said he had never practiced pederasty, but he was ready for it. He was apparently sensually excited; he had an erection immediately, and performed the act with evident passion. It was the first time that pederasty was successfully performed. I had terrible pain, but also indescribable pleasure.
“With my sojourn here, my vita sexualis has undergone a complete change. I have learned how easy it is to find persons who, partly for money and partly from desire, yield to our inclinations. I have also not been spared annoying experiences with cheats. Until the end of the last year (since then, owing to fear of venereal infection, I have not gone beyond mutual masturbation), I enjoyed male-love to the full extent, particularly in passive pederasty. I have never practiced active pederasty, because I have found no one able to endure the pain.
“Generally, I seek my lovers among cavalrymen and sailors, and, eventually, among workmen, especially butchers and smiths. Robust forms, with healthy facial complexions, attract me especially. Leathern riding-trousers have a particular charm for me. I have no partiality for kissing and the like. I also love large, hard, and calloused hands.
“I do not wish to leave unmentioned that, under certain circumstances, I have great control of myself.
“As director of an estate, I lived in a large house. My personal servant was a very handsome young man who had served in the hussars. After once having spoken with him, in general terms, on the subject, and found that he could not be approached, for years I lived in close intimacy with him, and enjoyed his beauty, but never touched him. I think that, to this day, he knows nothing of my passion. Likewise, two and a half years ago, in C., I made the acquaintance of a sailor, who is still regarded