CHARIVARIA.
We hear that the crews of the German aircraft which pay us a visit from time to time have a grievance. They complain that, if their activities lead to loss of life they are called "baby-killers," while, if they only take the life of a blackbird, they are jeered at; and it is really very difficult for them to know what to do.
⁂
The Minister of Public Instruction in Saxony has issued an order to the effect that the sons and daughters of alien enemies shall be expelled from all the schools in the Kingdom. This attempt to protect English children from imbibing Kultur is not the only instance we have had of the marked friendliness of the Saxons towards ourselves.
⁂
"A defeat of Great Britain," says the Vassische Zeitung, "would really be hailed as a relief by Australians and Canadians." The Germans certainly have a knack of getting hold of information before it reaches even those most intimately concerned. For example, the Canadians at Ypres, and the Australians in the Dardanelles, appear to have been appallingly ignorant of their real attitude towards the Mother Country.
⁂
"We have already, since the War began, advanced much in the world's respect and admiration," says Die Welt. Die Welt is, we imagine, the world referred to.
⁂
We like to see that even diplomats can have their little joke now and then, and the following passage from an interview with the Ex-Khedive of Egypt appeals to us:—"I was in Constantinople," said Abbas II., "recovering from a wound inflicted by a would-be assassin, when the War broke out. I intended to leave immediately for Egypt, but the English advised me not to hurry back, telling me that the weather was too hot for me in Cairo."
⁂
According to the Kaiser's wireless press "the corner-stone of the German Library, an eminent work of peace in the midst of war," was in Leipzig last week in the presence of State dignitaries and men of science and art. We suspect, however, that there are not a few citizens who are complaining that they asked for bread and received a stone.
⁂
A correspondent of the Cologne Gazette was, with other journalists, recently entertained to dinner in a French villa by the Crown Prince Rupprecht of Bavaria. "The party, while dining," we are told, "talked of the defects of French taste, and Prince Rupprecht said that French houses were full of horrors." True, O Prince, but the French are determined to drive them out.
⁂
Which reminds us that a critic was rather brutally hard on some of the pictures at the Royal Academy when he said, "At Brulington House the horrors of war are brought home to us."
⁂
"£50,000,000 FOR TURKEY
from our own correspondent."Daily Mail.
While this gives one a good idea of the princely salaries which our contemporary must pay its correspondents, it also looks like a fragrant instance of trading with the enemy.
⁂
Persons liable to super-tax, Mr. Lloyd George tells us, now number 26,000. Might it not be worth while, with a view to increasing their numbers, to offer a bonus to all who join their ranks?
⁂
From The Grimsby News:—Wednesday was a beautiful, bright, sunny day, and in the afternoon we observed that Mr. Richard Mason, the district county coroner, availed himself of these enjoyable conditions to drive out, accompanied by Mrs. Mason, to the Riby Wold-road Farm of Mr. Addison. Here he held an inquest... Mr. Mason must have many pleasant drives in the spring and summer as his district embraces 91 parishes, and many of the wold villages are very beautiful, and well worth a visit." One can almost hear Mr. Mason saying to his wife, "It's a fine day, my dear. Let's hold an inquest."
⁂
We do wish our newspapers would avoid ambiguity. The following headlines are sure to be quoted by the enemy press:—
"TO END THE WAR SPEEDILY.
Mr. Bonar Law's Way.
CRUELTY TO PRISONERS.
Daily Mail.
⁂
The offspring of The Daily Chronicle, to the regret of many persons, suddenly lost its identity last week. As Byron had it:—
'Where is my child?'"—And Echo answers "Where?"
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BRITANNIA TO AMERICA
ON THE SINKING OF THE LUSITANIA.
On butcher's work of which the waste lands reek;
Now, in God's name, from Whome your greatness flows,
Sister, will you not speak?
Cleanliness is next to Godliness.
From a Parish Magazine:—
"Many thanks to the Revs. ———, ———, and ———, for their help on the Sunday after Easter, during the spring cleaning of the Priest-in-Charge."
