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January 6, 1915.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
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NOTES ON NEWS.
By a Cynic.
The news that fills our daily files
From special correspondents—miles
Behind the Front—perchance beguiles
The simple, but the sceptic riles.
From special correspondents—miles
Behind the Front—perchance beguiles
The simple, but the sceptic riles.
The news from Rott- or Amst-erdam
Has German powder in its jam.
Has German powder in its jam.
The news from Petrograd, when fine
And large, 'tis wiser to decline
Without the Grand Duke's countersign.
And large, 'tis wiser to decline
Without the Grand Duke's countersign.
The Russian news that comes from Rome
Is as romantic as a pome.
Is as romantic as a pome.
The news that comes from Austrian sources
Munchhausen's shade alone endorses.
Munchhausen's shade alone endorses.
The news from Nish upon Vienna
Acts somewhat like the tea of senna.
Acts somewhat like the tea of senna.
News from Vienna wakes in Nish
The exclamation "Tush!" or "Pish!"
The exclamation "Tush!" or "Pish!"
On Turkish telegraphs, qua fiction,
We may bestow our benediction;
We may bestow our benediction;
They match (their humour is so tireless)
The exploits of the German Wireless.
The exploits of the German Wireless.
In fine, the cautious type eschews,
As wholly prejudicial
To his enlightenment, all news
Save the Allies' official.
As wholly prejudicial
To his enlightenment, all news
Save the Allies' official.
"The National Gallery had an unwonted experience. Quite a number of people, among them a church dignitary in garters, were inspecting its masterpieces."—Evening News.
No mention is made of ourselves—a Press dignitary in sock-suspenders.
