The Great Money Trick
'Hooray!' shouted Philpot, leading off a cheer which the others took up. 'The Professor 'as arrived and will now proceed to say a few remarks.'
A roar of merriment greeted this sally.
'Let's 'ave our dinner first, for Christ's sake,' appealed Harlow, with mock despair.
As Owen, having filled his cup with tea, sat down in his usual place, Philpot rose solemnly to his feet, and looking round upon the company said:
'Genelmen, with your kind permission, as soon as the Professor 'as finished 'is dinner 'e will deliver 'is well known lecture, entitled: "Money the Principal Cause of being 'ard up," proving as money ain't no good to nobody. At the hend of the lecture a collection will be took up to provide the lecturer with a little encouragement.' Philpot resumed his seat amid cheers.
As soon as they had finished eating, some of the men began to make remarks about the lecture, but Owen only laughed and went on reading the piece of newspaper that his dinner had been wrapped in. Usually most of the men went out for a walk after dinner but as it happened to be raining that day they were determined, if possible, to make Owen fulfil the engagement made in his name by Philpot.
'Let's 'oot 'im,' said Harlow, and the suggestion was at once acted upon; howls, groans, and catcalls filled the air, mingled with cries of 'Fraud!', 'Impostor!', 'Give us our money back!', 'Let's wreck the 'all!' and so on.
'Come on 'ere,' cried Philpot, putting his hand on Owen's shoulder. 'Prove that money is the cause of poverty.'
'It's one thing to say it and another to prove it,' sneered Crass, who was anxious for an opportunity to produce the long deferred 'Obscurer' cutting.
'Money is the real cause of poverty,' said Owen.
'Prove it,' repeated Crass.
'Money is the cause of poverty because it is the device by which those who are too lazy to work are enabled to rob the workers of the fruits of their labour.'
'Prove it,' said Crass.
Owen slowly folded up the piece of newspaper he had been reading and put it into his pocket.
'All right,' he replied, 'I'll show you how the Great Money Trick is worked.'
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