Page:Randolph, Paschal Beverly; Eulis! the history of love.djvu/73

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Affectional Alchemy.

When wives dress up and put their best foot forward to please their own households, as they do for outsiders; when the husband dons his best coat and pantaloons, boots and hat, cane and gloves as often and readily, to walk out with his own wife, as—when away—he does to do the same for somebody else's, the world will be a good deal better off than it is to-day.

Men's lives will be happy and pleasant when they learn: 1st. That a woman is a woman—not a softer sort of man. 2d. That wives appreciate forbearance. 3d. That occasionally a woman's organization becomes so deranged that she needs sympathy, love, tenderness and great patience on his part, for she cannot help her vagaries. Bread thus thrown upon the waters will return a harvest of love ere many days. 4th. A wife is a truer friend, even if homely, than the most beautiful outsider that ever lived. 5th. Take your wife into your counsels; the place of amusement; walk, talk, and be pleasant with her. Attentions pay large interest. 6th. Never bring all your troubles home to saddle them on her; and 7th, and last, Study your wife, and adapt yourself to her; let her really be your other half; for lo! ye twain are one flesh. No matter what mothers-in-law, or any relation, may say or do. Remember that ye are one, and "For this cause shall a man leave father and mother and cleave (only) to his wife," if she really be such in soul and spirit, as well as in law, gospel, and appearances.

Any mother, can, if she will, produce offspring that shall be superior to either parent, by avoiding all disagreeables of whatever kind or nature. By believing she shall and will produce a superior specimen of the race, and by firmly resisting discontent, anger, jealousy, hatred, and all evil—dwelling only on that which is true, beautiful and good.

Women suffering from affectional perversions, resulting in the trains of evils known as "female complaints," have a positive means of rejuvenation in the will, in the cultivation of the purer attributes of their nature observance of the law of soap and water, and a firm determination to be no longer slaves to drugs, anger, selfishness, the doctors, envy, or anything else calculated to unbalance