An honest Highlandman not long since, not much acquainted with the law, fell out with one of his neighbours, and to the law they went; he employed one advocate, and his opposite another, and as they were debating it in court before the judges, the highlandman being there present, a friend on his side asked him how he thought it would go, or who would gain the day, indeed says the higlandman, his lawman speaks well, and my law-man speaks well, I think we'll both win, and the judges will lose, for they speak but a word now and then.
A young woman by the old accident having got herself with child, was called to the session for so doing and after one elder another examining how she got it, and where she got it, and what tempted her to get it: and no doubt the deel wad get her for the getting it; last of all the minister he fell a enquiring how she got it, which run the poor lass out of all patience about the getting, says the priest, tell me plainly where it was gotten? I tell you, said she, that it was gotten in the byre, at a cow's stake, and what other place do ye want to ken about? but said he, did he not tie you to the cow's stake: no, said she, I did not need my tying; and how far was between the byre and the house? just but and ben up and down two slaps of a stone stair; then says the priest why did you not cry to the folks in the house? indeed sir, said she, I could not get cried for the laughing at it.
