Page:Select miscellany.pdf/5

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that has happened. What signifies a pickle flour scrimp worth half a groat!” Faith, I would better hae held my tongue, for nae sooner was the word uttered, than takin’ haud of a can, half fu’ o’ ready made-dressing, which I was preparing to lay on a wab of blue check I was working for Mr Andrew Treddles, the Glasgow manufacturer—I say, takin’ hand o’ this, she let it fly at my head like a cannon ball. But Providence was kind, and instead of knocking out my brains, as I had every reason to especk, it gied bang against our ain looking glass, and shattered it into five hundred pieces. But I didna a’thegither escape skaith, the dressing having flown out as the can gied by me, and plaistered a’ my face ower in a manner maist extraordinary to behold. By jingo, my corruption was roused at this deadly attempt, and gin she hadna been my wife, I wad hae thrawn about her neck like a tappit hen’s. But, na—I was henpickit, and she had sie a mastery over me as nae persuasions of my ain judgement could overcome. Sae I could dae nathing but stan’ glowering at her like a moudiewart, while she poured out as muckle abuse as If I had been her flunky, instead of her natural lord and master. Ance or twice I fand my nieves yeuking to gie her a clour by way of balancing accounts, but such was the power of influence, that she had obtained that I durstna cheep for my very heart’s bluid. So awa’ she gaid on her errand, leaving me sittin’ by the fire, to mak’ the best of my desperate condition.

“O, Nancy,” said I to my dochter, as she sat mending her brother’s sark, opposite to me, “ Is na your mither an awfu' woman?”

“I see naething awfu' about her,” quo’ the cratur; “ I think she scrvit ye richt; and had I