worker, who until recently had been regarded as a bundle of stupidity at home, earned decent reports through sheer industry, while I, ‘the prodigy,’ was left behind. When my brother was moved into the upper form, my father gave him a cigar on Sundays as an outward sign of his new dignity. I hated him for this cigar; I hated him for having usurped my place in the home; hated him for having to wear out his clothes; hated him as I hated my masters and fellow pupils.
A cousin in the cadet corps became my ideal. I used to visit him at the barracks in Joseph Square, and listened rapturously to the cracking of rifles, the rhythmic steps of the drilling soldiers, the drums, and the pleasant chatting when the command ‘Stand easy’ had been given. We smoked cigars and drank wine together in the canteen; for the first time in my life I listened to talk about women, and it drifted into my soul like sparks. I already fancied myself dressed in a blue uniform with bright buttons, wearing the white gloves that caress a woman’s cheek so pleasantly.
It was proposed, then, that I should enter the cadet-corps. I had to undergo a physical examination, and the medical officer declared
