an end, O Lord, to mine uncertainties and to mine inconstancy; take from the world that dominion which it hath over my heart; resume thine ancient rights over it, and no longer imperfectly attract me, lest I again fly off from thee. I am covered with shame at the eternal variations of my life, and they make me that I am afraid to raise up mine eyes to thee, or to promise a constant fidelity. I have so often broken my promises after swearing to thee an eternal love; my weakness hath so often led me to forget the happiness of that engagement, that I have no longer the courage to answer for myself. My heart betrays me every instant; and a thousand times on rising from my feet, and with mine eyes still bathed in tears of sorrow for having offended thee, an opportunity hath seduced me; and the very same infidelities, of which I had so lately expressed my abhorrence, have found me, as formerly, weak and unfaithful: with a heart so light and so uncertain, what assurance, O my God! can I give to thee? And what, indeed, could I presume to promise to myself? I have so often thought that my resolutions would now at last be constant; I have found myself in moments so lively and so affecting of grace and of compunction, and which seem for ever to fix the durability of my fidelity, that I now see nothing which can either be capable of fixing me, or of affording me a hope of that stability in virtue which I have hitherto been unable to attain. Let the danger of my situation touch thee, O my God! The character of my heart discourages and alarms me; I know that inconstancy in thy ways is a presage of perdition, and that the versatile and changeable soul is cursed in thy holy books. But, while yet sensible of the holy inspirations of thy grace, I will once more endeavour to enter into thy ways; and, if I must perish, I prefer being lost while exerting myself to return to thee, O my God! who permittest not the soul who sincerely seeketh thee to perish, and who art the only Lord worthy of being served, to the shocking tranquillity of an avowed and determined rebellion, and to the melancholy idea of renouncing all hope of those eternal riches which thou preparest for those who shall have loved and served thee."
