Page:Sexology.djvu/78

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64

God has given you for a companion. From all that we can learn, and the instances from which we derive our conclusions are very numerous, the first conjugal act is little else than a legalized rape in most cases. Let nothing interfere with your determination to wait for and obtain entire reciprocity of thought and desire, and let this always be your guide, not only during the honey-moon, but also throughout your married existence. Thus will you secure not only happiness and love for yourself, but that perfect confidence and gratitude from your wife which shall make her literally a sharer in your joys, as she must needs be in your sorrows. You should never forget that this passion is ordinarily slower of growth and more tardy of excitation in women than in men, but when fairly aroused in them it is incomparably stronger and more lasting. This, of course, with due allowances for differences of individual temperaments. Therefore be careful to avoid a most common error of unphilosophical man, that of undue haste and precipitation on these occasions through-out your wedded career. Be always assured that your wife is at least in entire sympathy with your own condition. It is rare that two natures are so exactly in harmony with each other that love and desire are always equal in both, but the rule should be for the one who loves the most to measure his ardor by that of the one who loves the least.

You should remember that a woman has her capacity for sexual enjoyment, and that most, if not all, wives have a tender spot for a child and a strong (yet perfectly natural) desire to become a mother, which increases as she develops into full womanhood; that undue haste, lack of sympathy and ignorance on the part of the husband is in most every case the cause of the ungratified and disappointed condition of the wife.