Ferdinand.
Cost.
Not a word of Costard yet.
Ferd.
So it is.
Cost.
It may be so: but if he say it is so, he is in telling true: but so.
Ferd.
Peace,
Clow.
Be to me, and euery man that dares not fight.
Ferd.
No words,
Clow.
Of other mens secrets I beseech you.
Ferd.
So it is besieged with sable coloured melancholie, I did commend the blacke oppressing humour to the most wholesome Physicke of thy health-giuing ayre: And as I am a Gentleman, betooke my selfe to walke: the time When? about the sixt houre, When beasts most grase, birds best pecke, and men sit downe to that nourishment which is called supper: So much for the time When. Now for the ground Which? which I meane I walkt vpon, it is ycliped, Thy Parke. Then for the place Where? where I meane I did encounter that obscene and most preposterous euent that draweth from my snow-white pen the ebon coloured Inke, which heere thou viewest, beholdest, suruayest, or seest. But to the place Where? It standeth North North-east and by East from the West corner of thy curious knotted garden; There did I see that low spirited Swaine, that base Minow of thy myrth, (Clown. Mee?) that vnletered small knowing soule, (Clow Me?) that shallow vassall (Clow. Still mee?) which as I remember, hight Costard, (Clow. O me) sorted and consorted contrary to thy established proclaymed Edict and Continent, Cannon: Which with, o with, but with this I passion to say wherewith:
Clo.
With a Wench.
Ferd.
With a childe of our Grandmother Eue, a female; or for thy more sweet understanding a woman: him, I (as my euer esteemed dutie prickes me on) haue sent to thee, to receiue the meed of punishment by the sweet Graces Officer Anthony
Dull, a man of good repute, carriage, bearing, & estimation.
Anth.
Me, an't shall please you? I am Anthony Dull.
Ferd.
For Iaquenetta (so is the weaker vessell called) which I apprehended with the aforesaid Swaine, I keepe her as a vessell of thy Lawes furie, and shall at the least of thy sweet notice, bring her to triall. Thine in all complements of deuoted and heart-burning heat of dutie.
Don Adriana de Armado.
Ber.
This is not so well as I looked for, but the best that euer I heard.
Fer.
I the best, for the worst. But sirra, What say you to this?
Clo.
Sir I confesse the Wench.
Fer.
Did you heare the Proclamation?
Clo.
I doe confesse much of the hearing it, but little of the marking of it.
Fer.
It was proclaimed a yeeres imprisonment to bee taken with a Wench.
Clow.
I was taken with none sir, I was taken with a Damosell.
Fer.
Well, it was proclaimed Damosell.
Clo.
This was no Damosell neyther sir, shee was a Virgin.
Fer.
It is so varried to, for it was proclaimed Virgin.
Clo.
If it were, I denie her Virginitie: I was taken with a Maide.
Fer.
This Maid will not serue your turne sir.
Clo.
This Maide will serue my turne sir.
Kin.
Sir I will pronounce your sentence: You shall fast a Weeke with Branne and water.
Clo.
I had rather pray a Moneth with Mutton and Porridge.
Kin.
And Don Armado shall be your keeper.
My Lord Berowne, see him deliuer'd ore,
And goe we Lords to put in practice that,
Which each to other hath so strongly sworne.
Bero.
Ile lay my head to any good mans hat,
These oathes and lawes will proue an idle scorne.
Sirra, come on.
Clo.
I suffer for the truth sir: for true it is, I was taken with Iaquenetta, and Iaquenetta is a true girle, and therefore welcome the sowre cup of prosperitie, affliction may one day smile againe, and vntill then sit downe sorrow. Exit.
Enter Armado and Moth his Page.
Boy, What signe is it when a man of great spirit growes melancholy?
Boy.
A great signe sir, that he will looke sad.
Brag.
Why? sadnesse is one and the selfe-same thing deare impe.
Boy.
No no, O Lord sir no.
Brag.
How canst thou part sadnesse and melancholy my tender Iuuenall?
Boy.
By a familiar demonstration of the working, my tough signeur.
Brag.
Why tough signeur? Why tough signeur?
Boy.
Why tender Iuuenall? Why tender Iuuenall?
Brag.
I spoke it tender Iuuenall, as a congruent apathaton, appertaining to thy young daies, which we may nominate tender.
Boy.
And I tough signeur, as an appertinent title to your olde time, which we may name tough.
Brag.
Pretty and apt.
Boy.
How meane you sir, I pretty, and my saying apt? or I apt, and my saying prettie?
Brag.
Thou pretty because little.
Boy.
Little pretty, because little: wherefore apt?
Brag.
And therefore apt, because quicke.
Boy.
Speake you this in my praise Master?
Brag.
In thy condigne praise.
Boy.
I will praise an Eele with the same praise.
Brag.
What? that an Eele is ingenuous.
Boy.
That an Eele is quicke.
Brag.
I doe say thou art quicke in answeres. Thou heat'st my bloud.
Boy.
I am answer'd sir.
Brag.
I loue not to be crost.
Boy.
He speakes the meere contrary, crosses loue not him.
Br.
I haue promis'd to study iij. yeres with the Duke.
Boy.
You may doe it in an houre sir.
Brag.
Impossible.
Boy.
How many is one thrice told?
Bra.
I am ill at reckning, it fits the spirit of a Tapster.
Boy.
You are a gentleman and a gamester sir.
Brag.
I confesse both, they are both the varnish of a compleat man.
Boy.
Then I am sure you know how much the grosse summe of deus-ace amounts to.
Brag.
It doth amount to one more then two.
Boy.
Which the base vulgar call three.
Br.
True.
Boy.
Why sir is this such a peece of study? Now here's three studied, ere you'll thrice wink, & how easie it is to put yeres to the word three, and study three yeeres in two words, the dancing horse will tell you.
