Qui
I am glad he is so quiet: if he had bin throughly moued, you should haue heard him so loud, and so melancholly: but notwithstanding man, Ile doe yoe your Master what good I can: and the very yea, & the no is, ye French Doctor my Master, (I may call him my Master, looke you, for I keepe his house; and I wash, ring, brew, bake, scowre, dresse meat and drinke, make the beds, and doe all my selfe.)
Simp.
'Tis a great charge to come vnder one bodies hand.
Qui.
Are you auis'd o'that? you shall finde it a great charge: and to be vp early, and down late: but notwithstanding, (to tell you in your eare, I wold haue no words of it) my Master himselfe is in loue with Mistris Anne Page: but notwithstanding that I know Ans mind, that's neither heere nor there.
Caius.
You, Iack'Nape: giue-'a this Letter to Sir Hugh, by gar it is a shallenge: I will cut his troat in de Parke, and I will teach a scuruy Iack-a-nape Priest to meddle, or make:- you may be gon: it is not good you tarry here: by gar I will cut all his two stones: by gar, he shall not haue a stone to throw at his dogge.
Qui.
Alas: he speakes but for his friend.
Caius.
It is no matter 'a ver dat: do not you tell-a-me dat I shall haue Anne Page for my selfe? by gar, I vill kill de Iack-Priest: and I haue appointed mine Host of de Iarteer to measure our weapon: by gar, I wil my selfe haue Anne Page.
Qui.
Sir, the maid loues you, and all shall bee well: We must giue folkes leaue to prate: what the good-ier.
Caius.
Rugby, come to the Court with me: by gar, if I haue not Anne Page, I shall turne your head out of my dore: follow my heeles, Rugby.
Qui.
You shall haue An-fooles head of your owne: No, I know Ans mind for that: neuer a woman in Windsor knowes more of Ans minde then I doe, nor can doe more then I doe with her, I thanke heauen.
Fenton.
Who's with in there, hoa?
Qui.
Who's there, I troa? Come neere the house I pray you.
Fen.
How now (good woman) how dost thou?
Qui.
The better that it pleases your good Worship to aske?
Fen.
What newes? how do's pretty Mistris Anne?
Qui.
In truth Sir, and shee is pretty, and honest, and gentle, and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way, I praise heauen for it.
Fen.
Shall I doe any good thinkst thou? shall I not loose my suit?
Qui.
Troth Sir, all is in his hands aboue: but notwithstanding (Master Fenton) Ile be sworne on a booke shee loues you: haue not your Worship a wart aboue your eye?
Fen.
Yes marry haue I, what of that?
Qui.
Wel, thereby hangs a tale: good faith, it is such another Nan; (but (I detest) an honest maid as euer broke bread: wee had an howres talke of that wart; I shall neuer laugh but in that maids company: but (indeed) shee is giuen too much to Allicholy and musing: but for you - well - goe too.
Fen.
Well: I shall see her to day: hold, there's money for thee: Let mee haue thy voice in my behalfe: if thou seest her before me, commend me.—
Qui.
Will I? I faith that wee will: And I will tell your Worship more of the Wart, the next time we haue confidence, and of other wooers.
Fen.
Well, fare-well, I am in great haste now.
Qui.
Fare-well to your Worship: truely an honest Gentleman: but Anne loues hiim not: for I know Ans minde as well as another do's: out vpon't: what haue I forgot.Exit.
Actus Secundus. Scæna Prima.
Enter Mistris Page, Mistris Ford, Master Page, Master Ford, Pistoll, Nim, Quickly, Host, Shallow.
Mist.Page. What, haue scap'd Loue-letters in the holly-day-time of my beauty, and am I now a subiect for them? let me see?
Aske me no reason why I loue you, for though Loue vse Reason for his precisian, hee admits him not for his Counsailour: you are not yong, no more am I: goe to then, there's simpathie: you are merry, so am I: ha, ha, then there's more simpathie: you loue sacke, and so do I: would you desire better simpathie? Let it suffice thee (Mistris Page) at the least if the Loue of Souldier can suffice, that I loue thee: I will not say pitty mee, 'tis not a Souldier-like phrase; but I say, loue me:
By me, thine owne true Knight, by day or night:
Or any kinde of light, with all his might,
For thee to fight.Iohn Falstaffe.
What a Herod of Iurie is this? O wicked, wicked world:
One that is well-nye worne to peeces with age
To show himselfe a yong Gallant? What an vnwaied
Behauiour hath this Flemish drunkard pickt (with
The Deuills name) out of my conuersation, that he dares
In this manner assay me? why, hee hath not beene thrice
In my Company: what should I say to him? I was then
Frugall of my mirth: (heauen forgiue mee:) why Ile
Exhibit a Bill in the Parliament for the putting downe
of men: how shall I be reueng'd on him? for reueng'd I
will be? as sure as his guts are made of puddings.
Mis.Ford.
Mistris Page, trust me, I was going to your house.
Mis.Page.
And trust me, I was comming to you: you looke very ill.
Mis.Ford.
Nay Ile nere beleeue that; I haue to shew to the contrary.
Mis.Page.
'Faith but you doe in my minde.
Mis.Ford.
Well: I doe then: yet I say, I could shew you to the contrary: O Mistris Page, giue mee some counsaile.
Mis.Page.
What's the matter, woman?
Mi.Ford.
O woman: if it were not for one trifling respect, I could come to such honour.
Mi.Page.
Hang the trifle (woman) take the honour: what is it? dispence with trifles: what is it?
Mi.Ford.
If I would but goe to hell, for an eternall moment, or so: I could be knighted.
Mi.Page.
What thou liest? Sir Alice Ford? these Knights will hacke, and so thou shouldst not alter the article of thy Gentry.
Mi.Ford.
Wee burne day-light: heere, read, read: perceiue how I might bee knighted, I shall thinke the worse of fat men, as long as I haue an eye to make difference of mens liking: and yet hee would not sweare:
