Elb.
Marry Sir, he hath offended the Law; and Sir, we take him to be a Theefe too Sir: for wee haue found vpon him Sir, a strange Pick-lock, which we haue sent to the Deputie.
Duke.
Fie, sirrah, a Bawd, a wicked bawd,
The euill that thou causest to be done,
That is thy meanes to liue. Do thou but thinke
What'tis to cram a maw, or cloath a backe
From such a filthie vice: say to thy selfe,
From their abhominable and beastly touches
I drinke, I eate away my selfe, and liue:
Canst thou beleeue thy liuing is a life,
So stinkingly depending? Go mend, go mend.
Clo.
Indeed, it do's stinke in some sort, Sir:
But yet Sir I would proue.
Duke.
Nay, if the diuell haue giuen thee proofs for sin
Thou wilt proue his. Take him to prison Officer:
Correction, and Instruction must both worke
Ere this rude beast will profit.
Elb.
He must before the Deputy Sir, he ha's giuen him warning: the Deputy cannot abide a Whore-master: if he be a Whore-monger, and comes before him, he were as good go a mile on his errand.
Duke.
That we were all, as some would seeme to bee
From our faults, as faults from seeming free.
Enter Lucio.
His necke will come to your wast, a Cord sir.
Clo.
I spy comfort, I cry baile: Here's a Gentleman, and a friend of mine.
Luc.
How now noble Pompey? What, at the wheels of Caesar? Art thou led in triumph? What is there none of Pigmalions Images newly made woman to bee had now, for putting the hand in the pocket, and extracting clutch'd? What reply? Ha? What saist thou to this Tune, Matter, and Method? Is't not drown'd i'th last raine? Ha? What saist thou Trot? Is the world as it was Man? Which is the way? Is it sad, and few words? Or how? The tricke of it?
Duke.
Still thus, and thus: still worse?
Luc.
How doth my deere Morsell, thy Mistris? Procures she still? Ha?
Clo.
Troth sir, shee hath eaten vp all her beefe, and she is her selfe in the tub.
Luc.
Why'tis good: It is the right of it: it must be so. Euer your fresh Whore, and your pouder'd Baud, an vnshun'd consequence, it must be so. Art going to prison Pompey?
Clo.
Yes faith sir.
Luc.
Why'tis not amisse Pompey: farewell: goe say I sent thee thether: for debt Pompey? Or how?
Elb.
For being a baud, for being a baud.
Luc.
Well, then imprison him: If imprisonment be the due of a baud, why'tis his right. Baud is he doubtlesse, and of antiquity too: Baud borne. Farwell good Pompey: Commend me to the prison Pompey, you will turne good husband now Pompey, you will keepe the house.
Clo.
I hope Sir, your good Worship wil be my baile?
Luc.
No indeed wil I not Pompey, it is not the wear: I will pray (Pompey) to encrease your bondage if you take it not patiently: Why, your mettle is the more: Adieu trustie Pompey. Blesse you Friar.
Duke.
And you.
Luc.
Do's Bridget paint still, Pompey? Ha?
Elb.
Come your waies sir, come.
Clo.
You will not baile me then Sir?
Luc.
Then Pompey, nor now: what newes abroad Frier? What newes?
Elb.
Come your waies sir, come.
Luc.
Goe to kennell (Pompey) goe: What newes Frier of the Duke?
Duke.
I know none: can you tell me of any?
Luc.
Some say he is with the Emperor of Russia: other some, he is in Rome: but where is he thinke you?
Duke.
I know not where: but wheresoeuer, I wish him well.
Luc.
It was a mad fantasticall tricke of him to steale from the State, and vsurpe the beggerie hee was neuer borne to: Lord Angelo Dukes it well in his absence: he puts transgression too't.
Duke.
He do's well in't.
Luc.
A little more lenitie to Lecherie would doe no harme in him: Something too crabbed that way, Frier.
Duk.
It is too general a vice, and seueritie must cure it.
Luc.
Yes in good sooth, the vice is of a great kindred; it is well allied, but it is impossible to extirpe it quite, Frier, till eating and drinking be put downe. They say this Angelo was not made by Man and Woman, after this downe-right way of Creation: is it true, thinke you?
Duke.
How should he be made then?
Luc.
Some report, a Sea-maid spawn'd him. Some, that he was begot betweene two Stock-fishes. But it is certaine, that when he makes water, his Vrine is con-geal'd ice, that I know to bee true: and he is a motion generatiue, that's infallible.
Duke.
You are pleasant sir, and speake apace.
Luc.
Why, what a ruthlesse thing is this in him, for the rebellion of a Cod-peece, to take away the life of a man? Would the Duke that is absent haue done this? Ere he would haue hang'd a man for the getting a hundred Bastards, he would haue paide for the Nursing a thousand. He had some feeling of the sport, hee knew the seruice, and that instructed him to mercie.
Duke.
I neuer heard the absent Duke much detected for Women, he was not enclin'd that way.
Luc.
Oh Sir, you are deceiu'd.
Duke.
'Tis not possible.
Luc.
Who, not the Duke? Yes, your beggar of fifty: and his vse was, to put a ducket in her Clack-dish; the Duke had Crochets in him. Hee would be drunke too, that let me informe you.
Duke.
You do him wrong, surely.
Luc.
Sir, I was an inward of his: a shie fellow was the Duke, and I beleeue I know the cause of his withdrawing.
Duke.
What (I prethee) might be the cause?
Luc.
No, pardon:'Tis a secret must bee lockt within the teeth and the lippes: but this I can let you vnderstand, the greater file of the subiect held the Duke to be
wise.
Duke.
Wise? Why no question but he was.
Luc.
A very superficiall, ignorant, vnweighing fellow.
Duke.
Either this is Enuie in you, Folly, or mistaking: The very streame of his life, and the businesse he hath helmed, must vppon a warranted neede, giue him a better proclamation. Let him be but testimonied in his owne bringings forth, and hee shall appeare to the enuious, a Scholler, a Statesman, and a Soldier: therefore you speake vnskilfully: or, if your knowledge bee more, it is much darkned in your malice.
