lifting her voice. "What of my mother? You don't think of her. No, but I do, and it goes nigh to making my heart bleed."
"Hush, Mona," whispered Christian; but, heedless of the warning, she continued:
"To be torn away from the place where she was born and bred, where kith and kin still live, where kith and kin lie dead—that was hard. But it would have been harder, far harder, to remain, with shame cast at her from every face, as it has been every day for these five years."
She paused. A soft boom came up to them from the sea, where the unruffled waters rested under the morning sun.
"Yes, we have both suffered," said Christian. "What I have suffered God knows. Yes, yes; the man who lives two lives knows what it is to suffer. Talk of crime! no need of that, as the good, goody, charitable world counts crime. Let it be only a hidden thing, that's enough. Only a secret, and yet how it kills the sunshine off the green fields!" Christian laughed—a hollow, hard, cynical laugh.
"To find the thing creep up behind every thought, lie in ambush behind every smile, break out in mockery behind every innocent laugh. To have the dark thing with you in the dark night. No sleep so sweet but that it is haunted by this nightmare. No dream so fair but that an ugly memory steals up at first awakening—that, yes, that is to suffer!"
Just then a flight of sea-gulls disporting on a rock in the bay sent up a wild, jabbering noise.
