Page:Side talks with girls (1895).djvu/28

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Side Talks with Girls

friends one must also respect their social rights, and by this I mean that if their hospitality is accepted one must conform in the way of dress and manner to the standards of one's hostesses; and that girl shows wisdom, who, invited to a very elaborate affair and feeling that she cannot afford even a simple suitable dress, refuses the invitation rather than mortify the hostess by being out of tune in the general harmony.

One has achieved a great wisdom when one has learned how to say "no" in the social world without giving offence. Personally, I do not approve of general dancing, though I see no harm, in fact a great deal of good, in the home dance, but when a girl has a conscientious feeling about dancing she is wisest if she says "no" courteously to the invitation that includes dancing. She has no right to go to a dance and to make her hostess uncomfortable by refusing to do as the others are doing, and by so airing her honest convictions that she impresses those around her with doubts of her belief. What she does not approve of she should not look at. So it should be with any games, or any affair involving late hours, or at which she would meet undesirable people. The saying "no" is right, but it must be said at the right time, that is, it must be said before the temptation arises and before you would be forced to-appear as rude. You cannot accept an invita-