Page:Six Essays on Johnson.djvu/61

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JOHNSON WITHOUT BOSWELL
57

clerk to a very eminent trader, at whose warehouses much business consisted in packing goods in order to go-abroad: that he was often tempted to take paper and packthread enough for his own use, and that he had indeed done so so often, that he could recollect no time when he ever had bought any for himself.—But probably (said I), your master was wholly indifferent with regard to such trivial emoluments; you had better ask for it at once, and so take your trifles with consent.—Oh, Sir! replies the visitor, my master bid me have as much as I pleased, and was half angry when I talked to him about it.—Then pray, Sir (said I), teize me no more about such airy nothings and was going to be very angry, when I recollected that the fellow might be mad perhaps; so I asked him, When he left the counting-house of an evening?—At seven o’clock, Sir.—And when do you go to bed, Sir?—At twelve o’clock.—Then (replied I) I have at least learned thus much by my new acquaintance, that five hours of the four-and-twenty unemployed are enough for a man to go mad in; so I would advise you, Sir, to study algebra, if you are not an adept already in it: your head would get less muddy, and you will leave off tormenting your neighbours about paper and packthread, while we all live together in a world that is bursting with sin and sorrow.’

Another visitor was a young gentleman whose father had become wealthy, and who wished to qualify for genteel society. Johnson recommended the university: ‘for you read Latin, Sir, with facility?’ ‘I read it a little, to be sure, Sir.’ ‘But do you read it with facility, I say?’ ‘Upon my word, Sir, I do not very well know, but I rather believe not.’ Mr. Johnson now began, says Mrs. Thrale, to recommend other branches of science.