Page:Srikanta (Part 1).djvu/184

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Srikanta

curtain, and left the room, closing the door softly behind her.

I had seen all, and understood all. She had come in secret, and I allowed her to go in secret. But she could not know how much of herself she left with me in the lonely stillness of the night. In the morning I woke up in a fever. My eyes smarted with pain and my head ached so badly that leaving the bed was torture. Yet I felt that I must go. I could no longer trust myself in that house. I might break down at any moment. And it was not only for my own sake, after all. I had to leave Rajlakshmi for her own sake: of that there could now be no manner of doubt.

I saw that she had washed away much of the stain of her past life. To-day boys and girls had gathered round her as round their own mother, and had created a sanctuary by their love and devotion. Was my love to manifest itself by working her degradation? Was I to stain my life by ruining hers?

Piari entered the room. 'How are you feeling now?' she asked.

'Not very bad,' I said. 'I shall be able to go.'

'Must you go to-day?'

'Yes, I must.'

'Well, then, do write as soon as you get home, or we shall be very anxious.'

Her imperturbable self-command charmed me. 'Yes,' I said at once, 'I shall go home and nowhere else. And I will write'.

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