. . . I thought you were a real find, but your work’s fallen off to nothing . . .
[He sits down on the edge of the bench nearby, his shoulders hunched—despondently]
Couldn’t deny it . . . been going stale ever since we came back from that trip home . . . no ideas . . . I’ll get fired . . . sterile . . .
[With a guilty terror]
in more ways than one, I guess! . . .
[He springs to his feet as if this idea were a pin stuck in him—lighting his already lighted pipe, walks up and down again, forcing his thoughts into other channels]
Bet the old man turns over in his grave at my writing ads in his study . . . maybe that’s why I can’t . . . bum influence . . . try tomorrow in my bedroom . . . sleeping alone . . . since Nina got sick . . . some woman’s sickness . . . wouldn’t tell me . . . too modest . . . still, there are some things a husband has a right to know . . . especially when we haven’t . . . in five months . . . doctor told her she mustn’t, she said . . . what doctor? . . . she’s never said . . . what the hell’s the matter with you, do you think Nina’s lying? . . . no . . . but . . .
[Desperately]
If I was only sure it was because she’s really sick . . . not just sick of me! . . .
[He sinks down in the rocking chair despondently]
Certainly been a big change in her . . . since that visit home . . . what happened between Mother and her? . . . she says nothing . . . they seemed to like each other . . . both of them cried when we left . . . still, Nina insisted on going that same day and Mother seemed anxious to get rid of us . . . can’t make it out . . . next few weeks Nina couldn’t be loving enough . . . I never was so happy . . . then she crashed . . . strain of waiting and hoping she’d get pregnant . . . and nothing hap-
