"Look here. On'y, just come and look. Here you are! Here's a go! Here's the warment," he added, "been at it again."
"Serve you right," said cook; "I'm glad of it."
"Serve me right—what do you mean?"
"I'm very much obliged to Mr. Judkins," returned cook, ironically; "very much obliged to you for lighting my fire."
"What do you mean? Don't bother me about your fire: I never lit your blessed fire."
"In course not," said cook, with a bitter sneer; "in course, Mister Judkins, you didn't light the blessed fire; nor did you, Mister Judkins, bile all the blessed eggs. I wish the last had stuck in your throat, that I do."
"You're a lunatic, woman," said Judkins, severely; "go and get a straight-jacket, you want one particular."
"Do you mean then to have then the unheard-of imperance to tell me to my very face that you didn't light the fire, and didn't bile every individual egg we had in the house?"
"I tell you, you're a lunatic. Don't bother me."
"Oh, it's all mighty well, Mister Judkins, but Missis shall know of it. I won't conceal it. I've kept a good many things from her, but this she shall know. A great, greedy gormandising glutton. I wouldn't have such a creature about the premises."
"I know you'll get into the asylum," said Judkins; "I know you will."
"The asylum," retorted cook, sneeringly. "It would be a great blessing to society if you were in the asylum. One was not enough for Mister Judkins—two was not enough for Mister Judkins, nor three, nor four. Oh, dear, no! Mister Judkins must swallow the whole."
"I can't talk to maniacs. Don't talk to me. I know you're not right in your head; so go away, and don't bother."
"Oh, you sha'n't get off quite so easy as you think for. Don't believe it. The very moment missis comes down stairs, I'll tell her all about it. I won't favour you a mite."
"No, I know you won't. But go away—do you hear? I've something else to think about; go away, go away, go away with you."
"In course, Mr. Judkins," said cook, tossing her head with accomplished mock-affectation. "Certainly, Mr. Judkins. I'll go, Mister Judkins. Mister Judkins, in course, is a very great man. Oh, a very great man is Mister Judkins; a mighty great man. But I'll cook the goose of Mister Judkins."
"I wish, with all my soul, you'd cook yourself," observed Judkins, who, as she retreated muttering all sorts of menaces, turned to contemplate his exotics again.
"This is a blessing as far as it goes," said he; "if it isn't, send I may live." But no sooner had he given expression to this remarkable sentiment, than a man led his mistress's pony and gig up to the gate and rang the bell.
"Very good!" thought Judkins, as he went to the gate. "This here's the seed of something."
