Chapter V
In relation let us first take the eight predicaments or categories of fumifical mischance, as they are commonly given by the scholastic writers, and repeated in the Schools of Pipe Philosophy: (1) suffering in body, which befalls detected smokers of tender years; (2) without a pipe-light: (3) in a drawing-room, or in the company of females; (4) in a church, which, if my arguments take effect, will soon cease to be reckoned a predicament; (5) sick in body, whether by reason of tobacco or otherwise; (6) with a stopped-up pipe; (7) with a burnt tongue; (8) proctorised, the which is a predicament limited to our English Universities. These predicaments are below enumerated in some Latin lines, of no little elegance and numerosity, and well worthy of a place in the memory:—
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