THE THIRD BOOK OF THE COURTIER further necessary to make some other demonstration of his love so evident that the lady cannot hide her knowledge that she is loved; yet with such modesty withal that he may not seem to have small respect for her. And since you, my Lady, began to tell how the lover's soul must be the obedient handmaid of his beloved, I pray you explain this secret also, which seems to me very important." Messer Cesare laughed, and said: " If the lover is so modest that he is ashamed to tell her of his love, let him write it to her." My lady Emilia added: " Nay, if he is as discreet as becomes him, he ought to be sure of not offending her before he declares himself to her." Then my lord Gaspar said: "All women like to be sued in love, even though they mean to refuse that which they are sued for." The Magnifico Giuliano replied: " You are very wrong ; nor should I advise the Courtier ever to employ this method, unless he be certain of not being re- pulsed." 65.—" Then what is he to do? " said my lord Gaspar. The Magnifico continued: " If he must speak or write, let him do it with such modesty and so warily that his first words shall try her mind, and shall touch so ambiguously upon her >Vish as to leave a way and cer- tain loophole that may enable her to feign not to see that his discourse imports love, to the end that he may retreat in case of difficulty and pretend that he spoke or wrote to some other end, in order to enjoy in safety those intimate caresses and coquet- ries that a woman often grants to him who she thinks accepts them in friendship, and then withholds them as soon as she finds they are received as demonstrations of love. Hence those men who are too precipitate and venture thus presumptuously with a kind of fury and stubbornness, often lose these favours, and deservedly; for every noble lady regards herself as little esteemed by him who rudely wooes her before having done her service. 66.—" Therefore in my opinion the way that the Courtier ought 231
