you are merely sitting, sound and happy among the cushions. And that’s how it is.”
At that moment Vojtech found it extremely pleasant only to listen. Completely muffled up, with his knees under his chin, squatting in a woollen blanket, he was like a child who is as much charmed by the voice and gestures as by the words of the speaker.
“Go on, further,” he asked.
“Further,” Karel pondered, “what was there further? When I’d decided not to return to the office again it made me very happy. The idea of killing myself had already gone. On the contrary, I saw that I should begin afresh, that it is the beginning of a new life. That was such an amazing feeling, and life had never seemed so beautiful to me. I walked through the town again, not thinking at all about what I ought to do. But everywhere around me and even behind the walls of the houses I felt something quite new. And just because it was so beautiful for me I recognized that I had reached something both splendid and true. Certainly, Vojtech, inspiration is the greatest happiness. It cannot be expressed. It is just as though you are talking to God; or as if your mind were suddenly to comprehend the whole universe, the earth, the stars, mankind, and even the people of the past. Such is this happiness. Afterwards this girl met me and invited me home; and I went to see if that amazing, that supernatural beauty, could endure in such . . . such horror. And Vojtech, would you believe it? By degrees I became freer. When I saw her misery it was as though I had received wings. If to-day I could see all the horror and misery in the world I should be still happier and more certain of myself. I must recognize many more things because it makes a man free. Are you asleep?”
“I’m not asleep.”
“The more a man sees of misery the more he has in common with the world of men. I have found the feeling of unity. It is not altogether sympathy. It is enlightenment and ecstasy; not regret, but enthusiasm. You yourself . . .” (thus he preached, standing, his hand outstretched, possessed completely by the drunkenness which had previously been overcome by the ecstasy) . . . “you yourself see every pain then and discover every disease and degradation and feel that it is your own. You yourself are poor and miserable, thief and prostitute, drunkard and despairing. You are
