the court decided that the witness might state what was said. "Well, go on and state what was said to the waiter," remarked the winning counsel, flushed with his legal victory. "Well," replied the witness, " he said, ' Bring me a beefsteak and fried potatoes.'" Judge {to Plaintiff). Who was present when the defendant knocked you down? Plaintiff. I was, your honor.
The other day a juror noticed a brother-jury man sitting next him having a quiet doze. He nudged the sleepy man, and whispered : " Do you understand the judge's charge?" "What? " exclaimed the drowsy juror, waking up with a start, — "what? He don't charge us anything for that, does he? I thought that we were going to get pay —"
A judge delivering a charge to a jury, said : "Gentlemen, you have heard the evidence. The indictment charges the prisoner with stealing a pig. This offence seems to be becoming a com mon one. The .time has come when it must be put a stop to; otherwise, gentlemen, none of you will be safe." At a Deemster's Court in Ramsay, in the Isle of Man, a Jew was about to be sworn to give evi dence. As Jews are always sworn on the Old Testament, and not the New, the Deemster re quested the constable in attendance to fetch an Old one. After a while that worthy returned, and handed to the witness an ancient-looking, dilapi dated book, which on being examined proved to be a New Testament. The Deemster's attention being called to it, he asked the constable why he had not brought an Old Testament, to which the innocent reply was : " Please, your honor, it was the oldest one I could find." During the trial of a case in the Camden County Circuit Court, the plaintiff's son (a raw country bumpkin) was testifying; and as he per sisted in addressing all his answers to his own
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counsel, who sat back of him and at the farthest possible point from the jury, both the court and jury had great difficulty in understanding anything that he said. Finally, after repeated requests from the court that he speak louder, the judge stopped the witness and said, — "You must speak so those gentlemen over there [pointing to the jury] can hear you." "Why, Judge," replied the witness, " are those fellows interested in my case?" This innocent remark, as can well be imagined, provoked great laughter, in which both court and jury joined. A Western judge delivering a severe lecture to a convicted prisoner in the presence of the jury, remarked : " You are one of the most unmitigated scoundrels I have ever known. A jury of your peers has just properly convicted you, and you must suffer the usual penalty of those who keep bad associates." A lady called at a lawyer's office the other day, and asked to have suit begun against a former lover for breach of promise. " He promised to marry me four times," she said; " but he has n't kept his word, and my affections are all blighted." "How much damage do you wish to claim?" asked the polite lawyer. "Well, I was blighted four times, and I think one hundred dollars a blight is none too much." So suit was entered for four hundred dollars for four blights.
NOTES. The Advocate-General of Bengal, in addressing the High Court recently on the subject of Mo hammedan oaths, in the old Supreme Court of Calcutta, said that the Moslem interpreter em ployed in administering oaths to witnesses made a good deal of money by means of a private un derstanding with the witness as to the mode of adjuring him. The form binding on the Moham medan conscience is to make the Koran rest on the head while the oath is administered. But if the Koran is skilfully held just above the head, so as not to be in actual contact with it, the form is
