A POEM Delivered at the Eighth Dinner of the Bar Association of the City of Boston, Feb. 25, 189 1 By Robert Grant. T ET dogs delight to bark and bite, and doctors disagree; It were not well that all mankind should dwell in unity. If with consummate peacefulness the Christian world were blest, Some occupations would be gone, and ours among the rest. But, brethren of the legal faith, how pleasant 't is to see A company of men of law sit down in harmony, To see the members of the Bar in social union dine, And join in song and chorus strong across the nuts and wine! No quarrels have we of our own, we manage others' broils; And though we fight with all our might, we've buttons on our foils; We scratch a brother lawyer's eyes until they 're out, and then We go to dine with him that night and scratch them in again. There is a popular idea that when we get our grip Upon a client with a case, we hate to let it slip; That bench and bar alike conspire to keep mankind apart; That justice means a pound of flesh cut nearest to the heart. Yet spite of many a mouldy jest and antiquated saw Which common carles are wont to hurl at lawyers and the law, It's obvious to those who scan humanity aright, That though we have ferocious looks we all detest to fight; That but for lawyers and the law, but for the legal mind, There never would be peace on earth for quarrelsome mankind. The human race from parsons down would always fighting be, If counsel loved not compromise far better than a fee. What is a lawyer? He who spends his time from day to day In listening to the woes of those whom others will not pay; In tying up for heirs unborn the merchant's golden sheaves; In saving gentlemen from jail and jugging common thieves; In drawing leases, deeds, and wills, and hearkening to the moan Of legatees whose friends had thought that they could draw their own; In telling folk who break their legs upon a winter's day, There must be hubbies on the ice to make the city pay; In setting forth to grasping minds that " fixtures " don't include A broad, inflexible permit to sack the neighborhood.
