Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 04.pdf/373

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The Green Bag.


346 facetiae.

Leo Tolstoi, the Russian novelist, who has ideas of his own as to the right of the community to punish its offending members, saw the other day a policeman take an individual into custody. He at once walked up to the constable and said, — "Can you read?" "Certainly, sir." "Have you read the Scriptures?" "Yes, sir." "Then you forget that they command us to love our neighbors as ourselves." The minion of the law, quite taken aback, stared at the Count; then, after a moment's reflection, made answer, — "And pray, can you read?" "Yes." "Have you read the police regulations?" "No." "Then read them."

When one talks of hereditaments, misprisions, and indentures. Of chattels and of mortgages, of choses and deben tures, Of assumpsit, debt, and covenant, of trespass and attai nders, Of writs of habeas corpus, of reversions and remain ders, Of attaching and conveyancing, of signing and en dorsing. Of femes, both sole and covert, separating and di vorcing, Of words of twenty letters, which you 'd think would break his jaw, You will then know that the fellow is just begun to study law. — Life.

Legal Object Lessons. — I.

In a law case, in which a question of identity was being discussed, the cross-examining advocate said to the witness, " And you would not be able to tell him from Adam?" "You have not yet asked the witness, Mr. X.," interrupted the judge, speaking in a studiously de liberate manner, " whether he is acquainted with the personal appearance of the personage whose name you have just mentioned. There must be order in your questions."

Recenti.v a Northern Recorder who is noted for the length and solemnity of his exhortations was addressing an old Irishwoman who had been convicted, not for the first time, of some trifling offence. His honor had gone on for half an hour or so, when suddenly the prisoner flopped on the floor of the dock. As the warder was trying to get her on her feet again, she made a remark in a very bitter and discontented tone. The Recorder, not catching the drift of it, asked the warder in his most impressive manner, — "Warder, what does the prisoner say?" "She says, your honor," replied the warder, with evident sympathy, " that she can stand penal servitude, but she 's d d if she stand this." — London Truth.

A sheriff's sale.

There was for many years a clerk of one of the Minnesota courts, a German of fine education, who was very punctilious in the observation of the details of his office, and who maintained all the dignities which he thought should characterize judicial proceedings. It is said that during the progress of a trial a witness came up to be sworn, and that this clerk started to read the oath to him in slow and solemn voice, as was his custom, when