His First Offence. When, lo! a shocked policeman sees A man who holds by posts and trees, Approach by devious degrees With nose aflame and shaky knees — Good heavens! it is Hogan. Alas for Hogan! His arrest Is not deferred. With chin on breast, And dinted helm, and drooping crest, They help him to the wagon. The stern tribunal won't relent, — Poor Hogan from the force was sent. Twas all in vain to represent The years that he'd been abstinent; In vain he promised to repent, And pleaded lack of wrong intent. And took his oath he 'd " never meant To go and get a jag on." There be on earth some blessed few (And mortals call them lawyers) who Ever the paths of right pursue And look about for good to do, Like angels (unaware) Of kindly heart, and soul erect, They save the widow and protect The orphan, and the debts collect Of hapless merchants who expect To see their money ne'er. And rescue them whose barks are wrecked By social tempests, and effect A blessing everywhere. One of these men of lofty mind Seeking as usual to find Some means to benefit mankind The hapless Hogan saw. And came and raised his fainting form, And held betwixt him and the storm Of unjust punishment the warm Umbrella of the Law. Where sacred Justice sits on high To judge the rights of men who cry For succor in distress, The lawyer came, and for her grace Besought the court in Hogan's case For judgment and redress.
(FiNCH, J., delivered the opinion of the court,) That the appellant, as appears In evidence, for fifteen years Had no intoxicants nor beers, But lived on milk and tea, Hath a most creditable savour. And militates in Hogan's favour To a pronounced degree. Held: Where, in vulgar phrase, a "cop" For fifteen years has had no drop Of alcohol or juice of hop, Nor aught so strong as ginger pop, And thirst is thus produced — And he desire said thirst to slake, T is not unlawful if he take A little for the stomach's sake — Nor shall he be adjudged a rake If he become — by sheer mistake — In common parlance " sluiced." (ANDREWS, EARL, РЕСКНÁM, and O'BRIEN, J.J., concur : GRAY, J;, dis.) Gray, J., dissenting says, — says he, "I 'm sorry — but I can't agree On principle, it seems to me, With what has just been stated; For when a man for years fifteen Hath stubbornly eschewed potheen Or aught whereby he might have been Fuddled, intoxicated, Or otherwise confused, I think He should not first attempt to drink In public place, — but clam Atquc secrete teach his brain By slow degrees to bear the strain, And his abdomen to contain The unaccustomed dram. "He should drink mollitcr at first, Et molli situ, — with light thirst Measure each dose, and trim it, Till by experience he knows How far how much refreshment goes, And where to ' gag his limit.'" (RUGER, J., concurs; Judgment reversed.)
