204
Tlic Green Bag.
There are many stories of President Lincoln's faculty of getting rid of bores; but the one related by an assistant attorney-general under Mr. Lincoln is unequalled. Three parties bedevilled the president for some privilege until he was tired out; and on their being announced, Mr. Lincoln said: "Gentlemen, I am tired of this; let me tell you a story I was reminded of when you three were announced. A boy at school in Illinois was given that chapter in Daniel to read wherein the names of Shadrach, Meshech, and Abednego are recited, and after many failures to remember the names, was promised a flogging if lie did not have them right the next day. The next day the boy got on with his lesson very well until he came to the verse ahead of the one reciting these names, when he hesitated and burst •out. •• There comes them three d d fellows again." Needless to say, this particular three left Mr. Lincoln in peace after that. Is the story of some distinguished lawyer of the Southwest too much of a chestnut? I fancy Cilley was the party. He was a very much better lawyer than the judge who persistently ruled some point against him. Cilley was deputed to examine an applicant for admission to the bar shortly after, and stepping to one side with the applicant, exchanged a few words, and returning reported the candidate " no good." "Why," said the judge, "you arrived at a conclusion very shortly, Mr. Cilley; how did you do it? " " Why, your honor, I asked him if so and so was correct" (the point the judge had ruled against him), "and he answered thus" (the way the judge ruled). " Such a gross ignorance of the very com monest principles of law rendered any further investi gation unnecessary." I rather guess that candidate got another chance. That exasperating nuisance, the finical technical lawyer, who u'itl "distinguish and divide." was well hit off by a brother professional who was very much "How did you come so? " " Well, now,' he remarked, "John is married; well, when the baby comes, John will examine it minutely, and if he finds a spot as big as the eye of a needle, or one kinky hair, he will refuse to pass the title and send it back for correction. The magnification of what concerns oneself was well illustrated in Governor " Andy " Curtin's story. Sitting on the porch of the hotel at Reading, an old Pennsylvania Dutchman approached him with the remark, " 1st big time in town to-day." " Ah,r) said Curtin, most blandly, "what is the cause of the interest, sir? " " Oh, ist big case at court-house; de biggest case vas ever in dis county; ish hunder wit nesses.1' " Indeed, that must be an important case. Of what nature is it, sir?" "Oh, ist a saltbattery case." " A hundred witnesses in an assault and battery case! why, how can that be?" said Curtin.
"Oh, this so important case," was the Dutchman's reply. " Well, are you a witness? " inquired Andy. "No, I am de man wat do the saltbattery." By the way, the particular finical nuisance 1 refer to above once put me to sleep in the office of our counsel, by drawing fine distinctions on the relative propriety of inserting in a deed of some property we were buying, either " John Smith & Co., Limited, their successors," etc.. or " its " successors, etc.; and when I awoke I had to exclaim, "Oh, confound it, stick in both, and then everybody can take his choice."
YOUR •• DISGUSTKD LAYMAX."
IN our May number we shall publish an exceed ingly interesting sketch of Mr. Justice Jackson, who now fills the place left vacant on the united States Supreme Court Bench by the death of Jus tice Lámar. The sketch is written by H. M. Doak, Esq., of Nashville, Tenn.
LEGAL ANTIQUITIES.
THE Turks are now a nation of smokers, but early in the seventeenth century smoking was denounced as criminal, and Amurath the Fourth ordered that those indulging in this pernicious habit should be punished by death in its cruellest forms. In Russia, at the same period, the noses of smokers were cut off. THE fraud, impoverishment, and desolation resulting from the administration of the debtor's laws in England were almost incredible. In the processes issued against the person, lawyers and attorneys are the parties who chiefly profit. From returns of affidavits of debts, it appears that in two years and a half 70,000 persons were arrested in and about London, the law expenses of which could not be less than half a million. In the metropolis and two adjoining counties 23,515 warrants to arrest were granted, and 11.317 bailable processes executed. Thus were 1 1,000 persons deprived of their liberty on the mere declarations of others, before any proof or trial that they owed a farthing. So gainful was the trade to attorneys, that they frequently bought up small bills for the purpose of suing the indorsers, and brought nine or ten actions on each. One house alone brought 500 actions in this way, and most of them for sums under 20 /. — Parliamentary Papers.
