Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 13.pdf/461

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422
The Green Bag.

The delights of the profession which have heretofore been considered are purely subjective, lying entirely within the realm of study and contemplation. There are other pleasures which are derived solely from the practice of the law. There is no theatre in the world in which such a variety of comedies and tragedies is enacted as in a court of law. Here day by day suitors come with their contentions about all manner of things, and the State brings the objects of its wrath, those unfortunates whom we denominate criminals, and proceeds to battle with them for their lives or their liberty. No gladiatorial contest was ever more interest ing than a murder trial. In this the grim beast which is designated by the title "The People essays to devour poor man. Whether the event be such as to excite the approval or the condemnation of the specta tors, still, this is the ghastly spectacle which is forever enacted where a man comes up for trial for a capital offence in a court of law. There are also very many cases both in the criminal and civil branches of the profession which excite humor and merriment both for the court and practitioners and for the spectators. It may well be said in passing that no set of men in the world have a keener sense ot the ludicrous than judges and lawyers. In illustration of the fine points of the play of the game of law, by which is meant the conduct of a given suit by the contending attorneys, which is essentially a game like a game of chess or a game of whist, these facts which occurred in a case tried in the city of New York not long ago may be considered. The action was one brought on behalf of a little girl, one of whose eyes had been put out by a boy who threw a stone at her while she was passing in the street, inflicting the injury of which complaint was made. The little girl bad told her story as a witness in the case, and was under cross-examination by the attorney for the defendant. She had testified that the boy threw the stone at her,

and the plain intimation was that he had done it intentionally. The attorney for the defendant asked her whether she could give any reason why the boy should have thrown the stone at her. She hesitated a long time in giving her reply and seemed utterly un able to assign any reason. At last she said so. Then the attorney for the defendant turned her over again to the attorney for the plain tiff. "Now, Alary," said that gentleman, counsel for the defendant has asked you whether you could give him any reason why this boy should have thrown a stone at you. Did you ever hear of his throwing stones at other little girls in the neighborhood?" "I object. I object," exclaimed the at torney for the defendant. "Counsel is putting words in the mouth of the witness." "Objection sustained, gravely ruled the Judge. "Mary," suavely said the attorney for the plaintiff, smiling, "can you now give me any reason why this boy should have thrown a stone at you? "I object, I object," shouted the attorney for the defendant. "The witness has no right to express an opinion in her own behalf on the stand." "Unfortunately for you, counsellor," said the Judge, addressing the attorney for the defendant, "you opened the door to this sort of examination, and although the attorney on the other side has no right to ask a ques tion which practically suggests the answer to it, yet he has a right to put one which does not, and I overrule your objection." "Yes," said Alary, brightening up, 'T can give you a reason. He has been in the habit of throwing stones at other little girls in the neighborhood." Thereupon the attorney for the boy felt badly, and the attorney for the little girl felt elated, and the Judge, the jury and every body else in the court room grinned at the humorous turn the examination had taken. Л very amusing story is told of the late Zebulon B. Vance, the great war Governor