Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 15.pdf/517

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The Green Bag.

in the south, an' I've a tarnal sight o' hay out; s'posin' we adjourn this here case tel termorrer mornin' 'bout this time?" Both sides were willing, and every one hurried out and home to get in their hay before the shower came. Next morning all were on hand at the ap pointed time, and as it was a fine day, it bid fair to get a hearing on the case of Spear v. Ridley, which was called again by Hen Bailey. Lern Springer's boy, Burt, who was studying law over at the Academy, was coun sel for Joel Spear, plaintiff, while Ben Newell handled Ridley's side. Burt said: "This is a case, your honor, of breach of contract, wherein the plaintiff, Joel Spear, alleges gross misrepresentation on the part of the defendant, Hank Ridley, in re gard to sale of a cow to said Joel Spear upon July twenty-third last." The Judge, who had just finished cutting a chew of Battle-Axe tobacco, said: "All right, Burt. Call your witnesses." Whereupon Len Merriman took the stand. and in response to Burt Springer's "Tell what you know about this case, Mr. Merri man," he said: "I wuz halvin' work with Joel et the time, and we wuz mowin' Joel's intervale. Jest ez I pulled up ter whet my scythe Hank Ridley druv down 'cross and sings out ter Joel, 'How'll yer trade them yearlin's o' yourn? I've got er spankin' new milch I got over Richmond way I'll let yer hev with ten ter boot. I'll warrant ye she's all sound and ye won't hev ter use no butter coloring neither.' 'Jump in/ says Hank, 'an' we'll drive over an' take a look at her.' So Joel druv over ter Hank's, an' thet's all I know 'bout et." Thereupon Joel took the stand and said, in part: "I hain't no hand et squeelin' on a trade ef et's done fair." ' Hereupon Ben Newell objected, and Judge Bassett said: "Joel, you jest go on an' tell what happened art er you druv off with Hank and I'll handle ther fairness part on it. By ther way, Hank,

ain't this ther same cow you let Bill Potter hev for thet set of traverse runners?" Hank said, "Yaas, 1 guess it be, Jedge," whereupon the Judge chuckled and said, "T. kinder callated it war the same cow." Then Joel resumed his testimony, saying: "I druv over to Hank Ridley's, an' we went into the tie-up, an' there wuz ez likely a lookin' cow ez I ever see. Hank said s!:e wuz a full blood Holstein, an' he wouldn't let her go only he needed a leetle money. He said, 'I'll tell yer what yer do, Joel; don't you take her now, but come over ternight, an' I'll show ye what a mess o' milk she gives.' So I druv over to Hank's thet night along 'bout milkiir time an' met Hank cjrnin' out o' the tie-up with a heapin' pail uv milk. He said, 'There ye be, Joel. I thought ye never wuz goin' ter come.' "Now all you folks," said Joel, "knows 1 ain't milked a cow sense ther time we shingled the widder Malcolm's barn an'Ife'l off the scaffoldin'. Well, anyhow, I sez ter Hank, 'You write out a guarantee an' 111give you thirty-rive dollars in money an' one o' them black shoats you wuz lookin' at ther other day.' Hank didn't seem ter be in no desprit hurry, but finally he sez, 'Joel, you may hev her, an' I'll write yer a guarantee.' So he writ out the guarantee an' I druv him down ter my house an' paid him his money, and put one uv the black shoats out seprit, so that when he come arter it one o' the women folks ud know which one wuz his in c?se I warn't at home. Now, Jedge Basseit, 'bout thet guarantee," whereupon Burt Springer handed the Judge the paper on which the guarantee was written. Ben Newell tried to have it thrown out be cause he said it was only a matter uv pel te ness on the part uv Hank Ridley in givin' it to Joel, ez Hank couldn't guarantee some thing that he hadn't raised. But Judge Bas sett said: "Ben, this here guarantee wuz giv' ter Joel as ther best uv Hank's knowledge uv ther cow durin' ther time he hed hed it,