THE LIGHTER SIDE Charged the Jury. — Congressman Sydney Mudd, of Maryland, is said to have told this story about an old negro who, by some peculiar election twist, was elected a justice of the peace in the backwoods of Georgia. His first case happened to be one in which the defendant asked for a trial by jury. When the testimony was all in and the argument had been concluded, the lawyers waited for the judge to proceed with his instructions to the jury. The justice seemed somewhat embarrassed. Finally one of the lawyers whispered to him that it was time to charge the jury. HI Looking at the jury with a grim judicial air, the judge said: "Gentlemen ob de jury, sense dis is a very small case, I'll jes charge ye a dollar an' a half apiece." A Sentence. — A man employed by a farmer living in St. Lawrence County, N. Y., was arrested and indicted on a charge of grand larceny in stealing a watch from his employer. At the trial the Hon. A. B. James presided. James was sternness itself in appearance and manner; but . underneath his stern exterior there existed, it was well known, a dry humor and a subtle sort of wit. The defendant was convicted and was told by the judge to stand up for sentence. "Prisoner," said the judge, " why did you steal that watch?" "Well, you see, judge," replied the prisoner, "I went into the bedroom and saw it lying on the bureau, and the devil tempted me to take it, but I didn't. I went in again and the devil tempted me again to take it and I did." "Yes? " said Judge James, somewhat quiz zically. " Well, now, sir, I will give you one year and seven months — seven months for stealing that watch and one year for slander ing the devil." He Couldn't be Bribed on Credit. — In one of the Upper Peninsula Counties of Michigan, is a lawyer, not a bad fellow, but possessing the capacity to say the wrong thing at the right time. He was recently employed as attorney for the plaintiff in an action before a justice growing out of an assault. The defendant
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and plaintiff are laborers, both foreigners, and the defendant, as soon as process was served, anxious to settle, went to see the plaintiff's attorney to effect a compromise. He had no money, but was profuse in promises to fix it up " pay day " and told the attorney if he consented to fixing the matter up he would make it right with him personally. Assum ing that dignity which pertains to the profes sion, and filled with righteous indignation over the mere suggestions of payment from the opposition, he replied in just anger, — "My Dear Sir: — I am the plantiff's attor ney in this case, and can't accept any com promise without -consulting my client, and you must not come to me with such a propo sition. I want you people to distinctly under stand once for all time, that you can't bribe an honest lawyer, on credit."
Monument for a Mule. — Jacob Goetz, pro prietor of the Coeur d'Alene Theater, has given orders for the erection of a marble shaft costing $250 over the grave of a donkey, which died a few days ago. " Bill," the name that will be inscribed on the shaft, was no ordinary donkey, but was known far and near as the " famous $4,000,000 donkey." Even this title did him scant justice, as he was the discoverer of the Bunker Hill and Sullivan gold mines, estimated to be worth $10,000,000, and the total output of which has already ex ceeded twice this sum, with a yearly dividend of $2,160,000. The mines were estimated to be worth $4,000,000 at the time the donkey, while standing in the court at Boise, Idaho, marked "exhibit A," heard Judge Norman Buck hand down the following opinion, which deter mined the ownership of the mine: "From the evidence of the witnesses this court is of the opinion that the Bunker Hill mine was discovered by the donkey, Phil O'Rourke and N. S. Kellogg, and as the ani mal was the property of the plaintiffs, Cooper and Peck, they are entitled to a half interest in the Bunker Hill and a quarter interest in the Sullivan claims." N. S. Kellogg thereupon bought the donkey for $250 cash, and employed a man at a salary of $50 a month to care for the animal the rest
