THE LIGHTER SIDE on record, it was involved by construction, or implied, in his participation in a business proceeding connected with it. After judgment had been rendered the court adjourned for dinner, and the judge found that the only eating-house in the place was the inn kept by the defendant in the case he had just decided. He also found that the defendant personally superintended the prep aration of the meals, and that the food was charged for on the European plan. The judge called for two boiled eggs, which, with the other food he ordered, were brought to him done to a turn. He ate them, and at the end of the meal the bill was presented to him. He was astonished to read on it the following items: Two boiled eggs 15 cents Two chickens, at 75 cents .... $1.50 Calling the proprietor, he asked: " How's this? I've had no chickens; why do you charge me for them?." "Those are constructive chickens, your Honor," answered the innkeeper. "What?" "Why, they are implied in the eggs, you know," the man persisted. His Honor began to understand, and said no more. — New York Times. Easy on Them. — A Chicago lawyer tells about a case that was tried in a backwoods court. One of the lawyers retained was an Eastern man, new to the country. "Does your Honor wish to charge the jury? " asked the legal light, when all evidence was in. "No, I guess not," replied the judge. " I never charge 'em anything. These fellows don't know much, anyway, an' I let 'em have all they can make." — Harper's Weekly. No Intent. — Magistrate : This man caught you with your hand in his trousers pocket. What have you to say for yourself? Pickpocket : Honest, Judge, them trousers looked jest like a pair I own, and I got sort o' confused and was thinking I had me hand in me own pocket. — Cleveland Leader. A Shameful Mistake. — Judge : " You were caught carrying a sackful of jewelry and
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silverware, and have the audacity to plead not guilty?" Prisoner: "An annoying mistake, your honor. I am a souvenir collector." The Retort Courteous. — William M. Ivins, the New York lawyer, is a foe to the harsh, cruel, brow-beating type of cross-examination. "But the brow-beating cro^s-examiner does not always get the best of it," he said the other day. " I remember, years ago, hearing one of these gentlemen thunder at a meek and quiet witness. "' I can teach you law, sir, but I cannot. teach you manners.' "The witness smiled slightly. "' That is true,' he said."
Scoundrels All. — " Gentlemen of the jury," said the prosecuting barrister, " this prisoner is an unmitigated scoundrel; he acknowledges it. And yet, thanks to the wisdom of the common law, he has been given a fair trial by a jury of his peers." Sober as a Judge. — Witness: " No, I was not drunk. I was sober as a , I was sober, my. lord." Judge: " You were going to say as sober as a judge." , Witness:- " Well, my lord, I was, and I beg your pardon; but I stopped myself in time." Judge: " Oh, I don't mind it at all. In fact, I consider it something of a compliment, but why it cannot be varied now, I fail to understand." Compromised. — Judge Caswell Bennet, for many years judge of the Kentucky court of appeals, while a resident of Frankfort, made his home on Upper Main street. Next to the judge's yard was a livery stable. In the capital city, as in most small cities, the livery man did not have room to house all of the conveyances of their customers, especially on big days, and the buggies, carriages, etc., were lined up in the streets, close to the curbing. This was very annoying to Judge Bennet, and he decided to try to break up the practice . He first appealed to the liveryman, then to the newspapers, and finally to the city authorities, but the custom was too firmly planted in the city, and his efforts availed him nothing. One day Judge Bennet was walking down
