Page:The Journal of Leo Tolstoy.djvu/321

From Wikisource
Jump to navigation Jump to search
This page has been proofread, but needs to be validated.

NOTES TO THE TEXT

By V. G. Chertkov

1. With the words, "I continue," Tolstoi begins a new note-book of the Journal; this note-book presupposes another which the editors have only in separate fragments. The previous note-book ended with the following note:

"October 8, 1895, Y. P.

"(I am beginning an entry to-day with just what I finished two days ago.)

"I have only a short time left to live and I feel terribly like saying so much: I feel like saying what we can and must and cannot help believing about the cruelty of deception which people impose upon themselves; the economic, political and religious deception, and about the seduction of stupefying oneself—wine, and tobacco considered so innocent; and about marriage and about education and about the horrors. . . . Everything has ripened and I want to speak about it. So that there is no time for performing those artistic stupidities which I was prepared to do in Resurrection.

"But just now I asked myself: but can I write, knowing that no one will read? And I experienced something of disappointment; but only for a time; that means that there was some love of fame in it. But there was also the principal thing in it— the need before God.

299