to thoroughly believe and understand it. I had associated intimately with many; and I imagined them to be sincerely attached to me. But now, they shrugged their shoulders—said the affair was strange—quite inexplicable—indeed, it was extraordinary how completely they had been deceived! But certainly I ought not to have founded my expectations on mere imagination. Most assuredly I was very much to blame!
Many were the similar phrases and reproaches which a poor man is frequently doomed to endure from his rich friends. How often, then, did my father’s favourite maxim, “it is better to be envied than to be pitied,” recur to me! But repining was vain. My little inheritance was soon in the hands of my creditors; and, as I found there was no reversion for me, I resolved to seek some employment by which I might support myself. After many a violent struggle with my pride, in this intention, I at last applied to the individuals who had already exhibited to me so much selfishness, and ingratitude. But, as I had anticipated, I was refused roughly, or sent away with empty promises.
I then determined to enter the Russian service; and to hide my humiliation and wounded feelings, far from my native land.
On the third night of my journey, I had the memorable dream which eventually decided my fate.
I thought that I was in a most beautiful garden, which I had often previously seen in my visions, but never when awake. It was beautifully and tastefully disposed after the English fashion; though, at that time, the knowledge of this foreign mode of horticultural arrangement was very rare in Germany. Among the most fragrant flowers and stately shrubs, the mossy roof of a small hermitage was conspicuous, on which the fiery rays of the setting sun shone flickeringly through the branches of the trees. While I was examining the flowers,
