78 PHILOSOPHY OF A BALL - ROOM .
contain them . We propose that two on a very large scale should be erected , which may bear their different names .
There is a small community , commonly called " Prudes . " A prude is a female Diogenes , who rails at people of fashion , as if there was some- thing essentially wrong in their pursuits . She is quite shocked by the figurantes at the Opera , horrified by the indecorous costume made use of at the theatres , and put to the blush by being told of an elopement ; she never opens a novel , or reads a newspaper , for fear the purity of her mind should be contaminated by their contents ; and faints at the sight of a footman with his coat off . This amiable race of individuals , though not , we are afraid , very numerous , have at least the advantage of being very select . To them it would be of incalculable benefit to be separated from the wickedness of the world , and to pass their lives in the pleasing employment , ( if such a thing were possible , ) of finding out each others virtues .
We have frequently met with a vast number of young ladies , who seemed to breathe nothing but sighs , and speak nothing but sentiment— who have the happy faculty of being continually in love , between the years of fifteen and twenty . It matters little whether the object of affection be humble or exalted . Love levels all distinc- tions . The " sweet youth " possesses the virtues of a prince , though the unjust fates have made him an ensign . These are the chameleons of society - they feed upon poetical quotations , and a love tale provides them with a day's meal.— They may be recognised by a downcast eye , a blushing cheek , and a slow tread ; or a book and a sofa . These may be called the " Sentimentals , " and when collected together , may , instead of wasting their time in imaginary attachments , probably learn how to love each other .
We come now to another numerous class , whose sole happiness consists in taking off the peculiarities of those around them . These are a witty , lively , and kind - hearted community , com- monly called " Quizzers . " From one of the most admirable of the kind , we beg to render our ac- knowledgments , for having favoured us with the idea from whence this paper originated . Quiz- zing , we beg to say , is a gift ; that it comes from heaven , is more than we shall assert ; but it cer- tainly is a genius which cannot be acquired . The genuine " Quizzer " may be immediately known by a sparkling eye , and a restless tongue ; a smiling mouth , and an oval cheek , possessing probably , the advantage of a dimple , to give the features an expression of archness and vivacity . They are a quick - witted generation ; nothing escapes their notice , and they frequently perform their operations with so much skill , as to make their victim totally unaware of their object . We think that if this cleverness were confined to themselves , it would produce a wonderfully good effect ; and therefore , a Club of professed Quiz- zers could not possibly be objected to .
We have now enumerated the different classes into which the ladies should be divided . We have heard , indeed , that there are others , called " Scolds " and " Vixens ; " but we are so charita- ble as to believe , that , like Mammoths and Le- viathans , they no longer exist . If there should remain any class undescribed , they may unite together under the name of " Junior Ladies . " We trust the adoption of this suggestion will be followed by all the benefits we have already no- ticed , and many for which we can find no room . All innocent and agreeable pleasures may be cultivated in these Clubs ; which may form se- parate Gardens of Eden , with the advantage of not possessing any forbidden fruit , to lead into temptation the daughters of Eve .
From a London Journal .
PHILOSOPHY OF A BALL - ROOM .
Ir is an amusing thing to stand in the out- skirts of what Lord Mulgrave terms the gown- tearing , tugging , riving mob of a London ball- room , and speculate on the motives and views of the individuals of which it is composed . " Je suis ici pour mon grandpere , " said the Duc de Rohan , at a seance of the French Academy . “ Et moi pour ma grammaire , " replied the Abbe de Le- vizac . " I am here in honour of my grandfather , " might be observed by many a Fitzroy , Seymour , Somerset , or Bentinck at Almack's ; - " And 1 , in honour of my daughter , or niece , or protegee , " would be an apt rejoinder from half the ancient dames stationary on the satin sofas of the sanc- tuary .
For a given number of personages , of propor- tionate means and condition of life , to meet to- gether for purposes of mutual amusement , is , in the abstract , a very reasonable employment of
their superfluous time and superfluous coin . But in these days of sophistication , few things are to be considered in so bald and definite a point of view ; and of the three or four hundred human beings congregated together during the months of June and July , in certain " matchless and magnificent mansions , " - garnished by Gunter with a sufficiency of pines and spring chickens , and by Michaud with minikin Collinet and his flageolet - we venture to assert that scarcely fifty are brought within its portals by a view to mu- tual entertainment .
First , in the list of guests , are those who go be- cause they are apprehensive of being classed among the uninvited ; labouring through the toils of the toilet solely to prove their right of being there . Next come the idlers , who fly to the throng in the hope of getting rid of them- selves ; finding it far more charming to yawn
