"Leave thy fatherless children, I will preserve them alive; and let thy widows trust in me;" and again, "The Lord said, Verily it shall be well with thy remnant; verily I will cause the enemy to entreat thee well in the time of evil," etc. (Jer. xlix. 11; xv. 11).
330. I had also this consideration, that if I should venture all for God, I engaged God to take care of my concernments: but if I forsook him in his ways, for fear of any trouble that should come to me or mine, then I should not only falsify my profession, but should count also that my concernments were not so sure if left at God's feet, while I stood to and for his name, as they would be if they were under my own care, though with the denial of the way of God. This was a smarting consideration, and as spurs unto my flesh. That scripture also greatly helped it to fasten the more on me where Christ prays against Judas that God would disappoint him in his selfish thoughts which moved him to sell his Master. Pray read it soberly. (Ps. cix. 6–20.)
331. I had also another consideration, and that was the dread of the torments of hell, which I was sure they must partake of that for fear of the cross do shrink from their profession of Christ, his words and laws, before the sons of men. I thought also of the glory that he had prepared for those that in faith, and love, and patience stood to his ways before them. These things, I say, have helped me, when the thoughts of the misery that both myself and mine might, for the sake of my profession be exposed to, have lain pinching on my mind.
332. When I have indeed conceited that I might be banished for my profession, then I have thought of that scripture, "They were stoned, they were sawn asunder, were tempted, were slain with the sword they wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins being destitute, afflicted, tormented (of whom the world was not worthy)" (Heb. xi. 37, 38)–for all they thought they were to bad to dwell and abide amongst them. I have also thought of that saying, "The Holy Ghost
